Cooking with Nuts! The Ron Paul Family Cookbook

I opened the mail late earlier this week and noticed that there was a hefty envelope addressed to my wife. The return address was that of the Paul Family of 845 Plantation Drive in Clute, Texas. Hmm. I opened the envelope and what to my wondering eyes should appear but a complimentary full color soft cover copy of the “Ron Paul Family Cookbook!” Well, you can imagine how pleased I was. My wife is a great cook who is always looking for new things to whip up for our own family soirées. I took the liberty of thumbing through the thing just to see exactly what it was Mrs. Paul fancied in the way of down home Texas cookin’. I was a little surprised not to find Fish Sticks, as I assumed that was what she was known for. There was however: Fay’s Pot Pie (of the chicken variety), Banana NUT Bread (not surprising), Impossible Pie, The Razzle Bo-Dazzle Pork Tenderloin and Mom’s Hot Slaw, to name just a few. One recipe I think it’s safe to assume the Griffins won’t be trying is Mrs. Paul’s Cherry-Pineapple Dump Cake. Let’s just say it didn’t sound quite as appetizing as some of the rest of the dishes.

Sprinkled among the recipes are snapshots of the Paul family, including his son Rand being sworn into the US Senate standing next to a slightly uncomfortable Vice President Biden in the old Senate Chamber. I was also pleased to see enclosed a personal letter (well not quite personal, but made to look like Mrs. Paul hand wrote it) with the heading “From the Desk of Carol Paul.” The note not only introduced the lovely cookbook, but took the time to introduce us to her husband in a bit more depth. It was actually a very nice letter and I for one appreciated Mrs. Paul taking all that time out of the kitchen to write to us. By the way, the cookbook also features another little extra on the back pages just after the recipe for Creole Praline Yam Casserole. It’s headlined The American Dream, Through the Eyes of Mrs. Ron Paul. By the way, Mrs. Paul’s first name is Carol which is how she signs the accompanying note.

I was thinking about this idea. If the Presidential thing somehow doesn’t work out for the Congressman, and Mrs. Paul has to keep cooking for her brood down in Clute without the assistance of the White House Chef, I’m thinking I’ve got a great pitch for the Food Network for a new show! How about “Cooking Like Crazy with the Pauls” or, forget Iron Chef - how about “Gold Standard Chef?” The Pauls could make a fortune! That would mean more cookbooks, personal appearances and the potential to put Paula Deen and The Barefoot Contessa right off the network! I noticed the Pauls do have a lot of recipes which feature nuts. How about “Cooking with Nuts” or maybe “Down Home with the Pauls” - forget The Neeleys! If this works there could be a whole line of cooking utensils as well, like Cut the Government Waste Cutlery, or the famous Federal Government Chopping Board. I know it’s all a little far fetched, but you have to admit it’s great marketing! It’s also a great way to market the Ron Paul for President Campaign. You don’t actually think Ann Romney or Callista Ginrich are going to send you a cookbook do you? This is good ol’ fashioned politicking in a down home neighborly way. Dr. and Mrs. Paul clearly know that the way to a voter’s heart is through his or her stomach!

One last thing - there was a little contribution card in the envelope with a place for like minded folks who appreciate the cookbook and who might like to “Help elect Ron as our next President.” Well, I must tell you, Mrs. Paul had me at the Mom’s Hot Slaw, so I decided ol’ Ron could count on me. I sent 25 bucks. Sorry congressman, I had to send a check, I was fresh out of $25 gold coins. Just get it to the bank fast before the Feds go and lose it somewhere.

Now, I’m not supporting Ron Paul, in fact regular readers know I am not supporting any candidate this election except for the one I vote for on January 10th. But I do like Mrs. Paul and I appreciate the thoughtful cookbook and her nice words. She seems like a lovely woman and I need to get on her good side.  If this Food Network thing works out, I’m hoping to get a cut of the empire! Ron Appetit!