The Russians are coming … The Russians have landed!

It’s appears that the Russians may have interjected themselves into our political system trying to influence the outcome of the presidential election. They may have hacked into Hillary Clinton’s rogue email server (who couldn’t), John Podesta’s password anemic emails and were the primary source for WikiLeaks; which totally embarrassed the Democrats causing Debbie Wasserman-Shultz to resign her DNC chairmanship in disgrace; compliments of the slow-drip expositions from Saint Julian of Assange.

Yup, those pesky Russians even attempted to hack into the RNC. However, the Republicans thwarted their attack; which would beg the question, which political party had the political smarts to govern the country without foreign interference?

That being said – As a loyal union member I’ll come to the Democrats defense. On voting day, I was planning on voting for Hillary but a strange thing happened while in the voting booth. As I surveyed the ballot, my arms started to tingle and shake (so much for “Stronger Together”); and my eye sight blurred as I was about to check off Clinton and Kane on the ballot sheet.

When my eyes regained their focus, the two top Democratic candidate names were in Cyrillic - ЧЛИНТОН (Clinton) and КАНЕ (Kane) which I could not decipher at the time. The only names in English were Trump and Pence. My writing hand under some sinister, remote control (probably a kinetic beam from a geosynchronous orbit, Russian spy satellite) became robotic and checked off the Republican boxes instead of the Democrats.

This is in line with the rumor that Vladimir Putin launched a constellation of surplus, cold-war satellites, strategically placing them over Swing States and the Rust Belt causing them to turn from True Blue to Commie Red.

I left the voting booth in a daze. Walking outside I passed a small crowd of political sign waving Democrat supporters. When they asked me if I had voted for Hillary, I said, NYET Comrades!

Prof. Michael F. Kenney (МИЦХАЕЛ Ф. КЕННЕЫ)