Start the Conversation with Your Teen About Body Positivity

There’s been a lot in the news lately about the negative influence social media can have on young people’s body image. Earlier this summer, two families alleged in lawsuits that Instagram has played a role in fueling their teenage daughters’ eating disorders. In March of 2022, the New York Times published a response piece titled “Many Teenagers Agreed That Social Media Has Been Harmful to Their Body Image and Self-Esteem.”

As a Women’s Health Care Nurse Practitioner, I have followed these stories with interest, especially as many in the healthcare have changed their approach toward weight as it relates to health. A philosophy called Health at Every Size or HAES is the belief that all bodies can be healthy, regardless of body size. You can’t tell someone’s health status by looking at them, but our society still stigmatizes people based on their weight, which can often lead to disordered eating.

When I see someone in my office, I don’t discuss their weight unless they bring it up themselves. As a provider who utilizes HAES principles, lifestyle factors, such as nutrition, movement, stress, and sleep, are discussed in relation to the patient’s health. Based on the factors identified and concerns, an individualized plan is created for the patient.

By the time I see adults in my office, who might have been stigmatized as a young person about their weight, it’s even harder to reframe their thinking. It can be a long-term process to shift their lifelong thought patterns and some people might seek out therapy to work toward a positive attitude toward their own bodies and body image.

Diet culture and our society have made it seem socially acceptable to judge a person based on their weight. There is an expectation that when you walk into your doctor’s office, you will get weighed. And there is a time for that. When you are a baby or growing, regular weight and height measurements are done to ensure your growth is on track. As an adult, sometimes knowing weight is necessary to prescribe specific medications or track fluid status. But at some point, we should shift to other determinants of your health.

Both diet culture and social media can be particularly harmful to young people as adolescence and the teenage years are a crucial time in a person’s development. It’s a period when they are developing their sense of self and how they feel about themselves in the world. Their lifelong attitude toward health is cultivated during this period, and if you’re stigmatized as a teen, it can cause you to withdraw from other people and make it difficult to foster healthy relationships in the future. In my practice, I see young females ages 12 and up, which is a good time to start a conversation about healthy habits and how weight is not often a real indicator of health.

As a parent of young children, I try to be aware of how I can set a good example for my children about body image and how we talk about our bodies. Kids picks up on things, even if you’re not commenting about them specifically. It’s very common for people who are unhappy with their body shape to report that their own parents or caregivers had an insecure body image.

Rather than talking about how people look with your child, establish healthy eating habits, promote physical activity, praise their accomplishments, and encourage positive friendships. Team up with your child or teen’s healthcare provider if you have concerns and keep an open dialogue with your teen, especially around messaging on social media.

As your children and teens head back to school this fall, keep an eye out for warning signs such as talking about diets, noticeable weight loss, or preoccupation with social media. Social media can be a powerful tool, but also a dangerous one when it wields too much influence over how young people perceive themselves. Keep talking with your teens, and if you notice something that concerns you, reach out to their healthcare provider or therapist, for further guidance.

Rebecca A. Pare, APRN, is a Women's Health Care Nurse Practitioner and Certified Diabetes Specialist. She is the lead practitioner at Nightwater Health Women’s Wellness and Primary Care in Exeter where she specializes in women’s health, including routine gynecological and preventative care, contraception, preconception care, and management of gestational diabetes, in conjunction with the patient’s regular obstetrician.