Remembering Mark Libby

I don't know how long I've been scanning the obituaries in the local newspapers, but I'm sure it's been since I reached a certain age. Maybe in my 40's? I don't know, and I honestly can't remember. I do know that at some point in our lives, when we all reach that age of impending mortality, it becomes sort of a ritual.

I remember my late father was always scanning the obits.

God, he went to more wakes and funerals of anyone I've ever known. And it was not just the obits. I can remember him coming home from work and telling my late mother, "Another guy dropped dead at work today."

He'd say it so matter of fact like, like it was no big deal. I remember thinking "what the hell is going on at my father's job where people are dying all the time? I mean Damn."

But my dad worked in one of the largest factories on the East Coast. It was a
city within a city. So it's not that far of a fetch for someone to just suddenly keel over and die. Still it always seemed so unfair to me. Some poor guy packing his lunch, kissing his wife and kids goodbye in the morning, and heading off to work, only to never return. Dropping dead at work.

Life can be so fleeting. But we all know that. Any way, back to the local obits.

There was a name that stood out in the small smattering of local obits. Most of the other deceased were in their 80's or 90's. They had all lived good long lives. But this guy's age caught my attention. He was 64. That's too young and too close to home. But what really caught my eye was this..."and a lifelong surfer, surfing year round off Hampton's North Beach..."

That's the Wall! I looked again at the name. Mark Libby. I must know him.

I called my friend Jack. He confirmed my fears. "You know Mark. He surfed a G&S longboard, had long hair, thick mustache, he was small and thin. Always knee paddled." Of course. I know Mark. I just didn't know his last name. But I've known Mark for years. He was always nice to me. In fact, I do not believe that we have ever had a bad session together. He was quiet and just a really nice guy. And though he surfed quite a bit throughout the years, he had not been around the last few years.

No wonder. He had cancer. And cancer can do that to a person. Slow you down.

Ten years ago, when I was surfing everyday in memory of my father, I had gotten pretty close to Mark. I would see him all the time. In fact, we shared many a surf session at the Wall. Turns out he was a NAVY Veteran. My father was a NAVY vet too. He was always encouraging me back in those days. I can still see him in my mind. Knee paddling that old G&S longboard. He always wore booties too. That hair and mustache. That smile. Just another surfer at the Wall. Surfing his way through life.

I guess we never think about this thing ending. The surfing lifestyle. But it does.

It ended for Mark and his loving family and friends on December 2nd, 2011. My regret is I do not have (that I know of) a single photo of him surfing. Yet I can see him so clearly in my mind. I was hoping that I might have a UNKNOWN photo back in the archives, but I wouldn't know where to look. I'm sure somewhere
and somehow, I have a photo or some movie footage of him.

Mark was a good guy. We should have a paddle for him when the weather gets warmer. I spoke with his daughter recently and she confirmed that a paddle was in the works. As soon as I have the details I will share them with you.

Talking with Jack about Mark on Friday, we both remembered that one year while we were playing our annual Mall Name Game, that Mark was out shopping one night when we both saw him and both scored on his sighting. Now for those of you who are wondering what the hell the Mall Name Game is, let me explain.

For the last 15 years or so, 3 local surfers, myself, Jacko, and Johnny Meehan have started and maintained a tradition where we all go shopping for the wives and girlfriends at the Mall and Jacko and I have a contest with Johnny as the judge/referee. The contest and the rules are simple.

The contestants have to know the person's first and last name and the person has to know your first and last name. There are no substitutes. To score a point, You have to know both first and last name. And the person you recognize has to know your first and last name. Sounds pretty simple enough. Let me tell you, it is anything but.

So what is at stake? Bragging rights? Money? Prizes? The person with the most Points wins and the loser has to buy a huge Steak dinner for all. Suffice it say, with my fading memory I am at a distinct disadvantage. Plus I believe that Johnny (Judge) is in some kind of annual conspiracy with Jacko against me. I believe it has something to do with them both being Irish and me being Italian. I do not want to play the race card, but clearly this reeks of it. Irish and Italian at odds with one another.

The game we played on Friday was all about controversy. First of all I was using my crutches and was already at a disadvantage. I had to keep looking down to see where I was going. I will say that both Jacko and Johnny did assist me with carrying gifts that I had purchased. After all, we are supposed to be shopping. But I was down 2-0. Jacko had stopped a couple who he knew and they knew him. Two legit points.

But then it happened. The 3rd point that should have never been awarded to Jacko. We were walking through the mall when Jack spotted a mutual friend of all three of us. A local surfer. His name is Jeff. I won't give his last name because I do not want to embarrass him further. But we have all known him for many years. Of this I am 100% certain. I know him and he knows me.

When we walked away after some small talk Jacko turned to me and said "He didn't know you, that's a point for me." I was stunned. "What? He knows me!" I yelled. "He said hey to you and called me and Johnny by our names, he does
not know you." I was furious. "That is Bullshit. Let's go back and confront him.
He knows me!" I said. Jacko and Johnny both agreed. For the record, in all the years we have been playing this game, we have never gone back to get confirmation with anyone.

Except I was certain that Jeff knew me.

We found Jeff in the same store with his wife. Jacko and Johnny explained to Jeff the origin and the rules of the game we were playing. Jeff seemed amused by it all. Then the bombshell. After explaining the rules to Jeff, Jacko asked him straight out..."Do you know who he is...?" He said pointing at me. Jeff looked at me and said "I don't."
I freaked. "Jeff you know me, it's me Ralph!" He looked at me "Sorry I don't know you." By then Johnny and Jacko were howling with laughter in that crowded Mall.

But I was not giving up. "Jeff you and I almost got into a fight one day at the Wall."

He looked at me and said, "Well that narrows it down...but I'm sorry, I do not know you." I was astonished. "Jeff we were arguing over the fact that you always HOOT yourself when you are surfing! You broke down and told me it's because you had always surfed alone. And I pointed out at the Wall that day saying there are 100's of surfers out there. Let them HOOT you!"

"I'm sorry I don't know who you are..."He said smiling as Johnny and Jacko pissed their pants laughing at this ridiculous scene. "Jeff I wrote a freaking song about you called DON'T HOOT YOURSELF!" Jacko and Johnny were dying. But Jeff looked at me and shook his head..."I'm sorry I don't know you."

Finally as we were about to leave, I yelled at him "You will NEVER have a photo of you on Ralph's Pic of the Week. EVER!" He looked at me and said "What's that...?"

"AH-H-H-H-H-!" I screamed and Johnny and Jacko laughed as we left the Mall.

I did manage to get a point on the way out. A Mom of a kid I had coached saw me and asked about my injury. Even with that confirmed point the two Irish cohorts tried to take that point away from me. Bastards. But still ended up losing the game. 2-1. But the scene with Jeff "Don't Hoot Yourself" will go down as one of the most memorable ever moments in the history of our annual
Holiday Tradition.

Just remember if you spot us next ear at the mall do me a favor and say hello to me and pretend not to know Jacko. That would be pretty funny.

Speaking of funny...The ASK CRACKIE SERIES is now into our 11th week. Crackie
is still very uptight about all things in surfing. This week is an all time classic. Hell even I laughed. Crackie actually has written and recorded his own version of the NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS...and it is destined to be a classic. The Holiday Spirit is running rampant with the Crackman. Don't forget CRACKIE has his own Facebook page. If you have a question for Crackie no matter how absurd you might think it is, please email him directly.

Crackie's email: crackie@adlantic.

I know personally that he'd love to hear from you and I know he'd love to friend
you on Facebook.

Remember my friends...if things get tough this Holiday season, or you're feeling down. Head down to the ocean. Go for a surf...or if you're (now) like me, just listen and watch the waves. It is still a healing agent.

Because my mantra still holds true, especially during this holiday season.

"Surfing Heals ALL Wounds..."