Red Sox in the Crystal Ball

Before you know it, opening day 2012 will be here and Red Sox fans will embark on the 162 game roller coaster that we take every year. But what if we knew some of what was going to happen before the season even started? Wouldn’t it make the highs and lows a little easier to take if we knew how the regular season would eventually end? Well lo and behold – "Spoiler Alert" – I am going to give you a peek into some of the key performances of the 2012 season. Sit back and hold on, because here we go:

Biggest Bust – John Lackey. I know he's on the disabled list for the year due to rotator cuff surgery, but that doesn't make him less of a failure. (I know that was too easy, but I just couldn't resist taking one more shot at the poster boy for last year's dismal season.)

Biggest Surprise – Carl Crawford. Once Crawford is appropriately healed from his wrist surgery and now that he has gotten past his "deer in the headlights" debut in Boston, look for him to have a great season. Curtis Granderson was in the same predicament last year for the Yankees. He had a so-so 2010 campaign and then blossomed in 2011, expect the same with Crawford. I believe Bobby Valentine will put him in the two spot and he will play like the Crawford of 2010. Projections: BA .310, HR 25, RBI 85, SB 55

Comeback Player – Clay Buchholz. Buchholz will be healthy and hungry. Buchholz has always had good stuff but his problem has been that he thinks too much. He has matured every year and I expect him to be the Ace of the Red Sox staff. It’s been five years since the 22-year-old skinny kid threw a no hitter and reached the limelight before he was ready. Now he's ready. AL batters beware. Projections: W 18, L 9 S.O. 185 ERA 2.89.

Team MVP – Jacoby Ellsbury. He would have won the AL MVP last year if not for the monumental collapse by the rest of the team. As far as Ellsbury, last September he did everything he could to drag the underachievers into the playoffs with a tremendous final week but alas, one man alone couldn’t do it. Projections: BA .330, HR 29, RBI 95 SB 45

Biggest Loser – Josh Beckett. Expect Beckett to come to spring training in shape after losing 15 pounds but don’t expect him to have a great year. He will be gritting his teeth and forcing a smile but eventually the brooding mini Clemens (sans steroids) will surface and he will have another injury, blister-filled year that Boston fans have become used to. He will end the year on the DL and open a Popeye’s franchise with Lackey. Projections: W 7, L 15, SO 165, ERA 5.85

Best Makeover – Daniel Bard. Instead of being Jonathan Papelbon’s successor he will emulate Papelbon’s early years and be a starter. He has good stuff but he leaves them fat from time to time. As a reliever he can’t absorb the mistakes but as a starter with the Red Sox Line up backing him he will flourish in his new role. Projections: W 15, L 10, SO 285, ERA 3.85

Diamond in the Rough – Andrew Miller. Last year in his sixth season in the majors Miller finally had a winning record (6-3), albeit his ERA was 5.54, but he has shown signs of brilliance and is still only 26 years old. He will be a solid number five starter and will finally learn that he doesn’t have to strike out every batter, thus bringing down his number of walks. Projections: W 14, L 11, SO 140, ERA 4.25

Biggest Disappointment – David Ortiz. The glue, duct tape and rubber bands will let go and the 34-year-old Ortiz will turn 40 overnight when his true birth certificate from the Dominican Republic surfaces. At the same time, he will lose his ability to get around on the fastball. He will lose his starting job to Ryan Lavarnway in June and will be used off the bench as a pinch hitter the rest of the season. Projections: BA .203, HR 5, RBI 22.

All Stars – Clay Bucholz, Carl Crawford, Jacoby Ellsbury, Jon Lester, Jarrod Saltalamacchia and Adrien Gonzalez

Under achievers – David Ortiz, Josh Beckett and Kevin Youkilis

Cultural Phenomenon – The Bobby Soxers. It will start slowly in April with the Boston University students showing up in white T-shirts, blue shorts and red socks to support the new savior Bobby Valetine. By the time September comes, the stands will be filled with Bobby Soxers, ranging from students to investment bankers to Harvard professors all decked out in the Bobby Soxer garb. Valentine eventually will get in the act by filming a Dunkin' Donuts commercial in the Bobby Sox attire. Doughnut sales will go through the roof.

2012 Projected Finish American League East – Second place, 91 and 71 (three games behind the New York Yankees). The Sox are going to the playoffs! As far as how they do, you’ll just have to wait and see like everyone else. After all, giving you a glimpse of the regular season is one thing, but telling you who wins the World Series would just be plain wrong (wink, wink).