This Can't Be Me, My Mirror Must Be Defective

I recently turned 50 years old. It was a great day, things were going smoothly and then it happened. Oh it was horrible; I still tremble when I think of it. I lost my concentration, took a wrong turn and came face to face with a mirror. At first I thought it was a trick mirror someone had put in as a birthday joke, then I thought maybe I was too far away, but the closer I got the worse it got. Who was this old fat man with graying hair staring at me? Oh my god! It was me.

Yep, at 50 years old, the ole body has taken a few trips down hill. Can it come back? Is it too late? Is this as good as it gets?  Why didn’t anyone tell me what was happening?

The scale? Oh it broke years ago, one day it read 250 and then the next time I got on it six month later it read 265. Obviously a mistake, so much for that scale, it must have broken. I figured that I would buy another one some day, you know, when I got in shape. And I stopped looking at mirrors about the same time the scale broke, I’m not sure why I stopped but I probably didn’t want to seem vain to others, especially those who I didn’t feel they had aged as well as me. I'm thoughtful like that.

There were hints of what was happening – The guy who told me what a great candidate I would be for gastric by pass surgery and how it would change my life, or when I went to the big and tall store and the clerk told me that they had to start specially ordering my clothes because nothing on the racks would fit me, or the time I went to a restaurant and they told me they preferred I sit at the bar because the chairs at the tables are kind of flimsy. I even used to see myself on cable TV looking a little round but they say TV adds weight to you so I figured it just added a little more weight to me then most others. I never put two and two together until I met up with the mirror. 

How did this happen? One day I was running road races and the next day I was waiting for Dunkin' Donuts to open so I could use my buy six doughnuts and get six free coupon. In between just seems like a blur. One filled with fried chicken, ice cream and bags of Doritos. Oh sure there were diets and even a little exercising but the refrigerator always came calling and I was always eager to open the door.

Well it's put up or shut up time. We are planning a birthday celebration for my wife at Disney in two years, complete with all the kids and grandkids. At my current pace I have three options.

1.  Keep doing what I'm doing and spend the week in a hotel room because I don’t have the stamina to keep up with everyone else.

2. Keep doing what I'm doing and be the guest of honor at the Rivet’s Funeral Home.

3. Get in shape, diet and take my life back.

I choose option 3.

Beginning Dec. 5, I begin my quest back to the future to enjoy life.

There will be no gastric bypasses (no offense to my buddy with the advice) or any other procedures just guidance from my doctor, will power, exercise, belief and support from friends and family

Lets take inventory before we begin:

Current Statistics:
Weight – 341pounds,
Waist – 52"

Target:
Weight – 239 pounds
Waist – 36

Physical Condition:
Fair – Two sore knees, one sore heel and no stamina.  

Mental Assessment:
Self-Esteem/Confidence – Fair. I still believe that I’m the smartest person in the room, but I’m not convinced that I'm the best looking or most athletic anymore. For those of you that grew up with me and are rolling your eyes thinking "How could he have ever thought those things " I remind you of the famous words once uttered by Yogi Berra after watching a performance by magician David Copperfield "Never underestimate the power of delusion."

Personal circumstances:
Best wife in the world, great family, great friends, nice home, growing business. (Aside from my weight and aches and pains I'm doing pretty good.)

The clock is ticking, the preparation is going on and Dec. 5 will be here before I know it. Wish me luck and I will keep you all posted. December 2013 will come whether I'm ready or not. I plan to be ready.