Would YOU ever try writing your own obituary?

(Now that I’m past the half-century mark in my life, I sort of have mixed emotions on writing my own obituary. Personally, I think I can do a much better job writing my own obit than at least 99.9 percent of the newspaper reporters out there. Let’s face it, who knows me better than me? But sitting down and reflecting back on your whole life, to write your own obituary is definitely humbling not to mention a wee bit spooky. Or is “insane” the word I’m looking for here? Perhaps you’d even deviate this particular task and instead write out a “bucket list” of things you want to accomplish BEFORE you pass away because it just doesn’t look like you’ve done enough “stuff” in your life thus far. So from that aspect, writing your own obituary is probably a very therapeutic experience.

After my dad passed away nearly a couple decades ago, I didn’t think there was nearly enough stuff published in the local newspaper to do that man justice. His death really caught my mom, sister and me off-guard so we really couldn’t prepare anything in a timely manner. A year or so after my dad’s passing, my mom entered a nursing home and I decided to write her obituary which I saved on a computer file and I also picked out a nice photo of her, so I was amply prepared, at least in that aspect, to give her a nice send-off when she died several years ago.

As far as Yours Truly is concerned, I’m not quite sure if I want to be as humorous in my obituary as John E. Holden was in his (see attachment). Too bad I never met this guy while he was alive. I ran across this on the Internet and I thought it was absolutely hysterical from an individual who has a very positive, upbeat perspective about the concept of his own death. Or do people who spend their final years in a retirement home or nursing home often contemplate exactly how their burial arrangements will turn out in respect to their loved ones, i.e. prepaying their funerals, tweaking their Last Wills, getting hurtful things finally off their chest to certain individuals, etc. I think I would probably insert more of the Gospel message in mine, to hopefully give God all the glory just before I finally get a chance to meet Him.

Four years ago this month, one of my best friends passed away in Ohio, and the Columbus daily newspaper started off his obit, “(my friend's name) fell asleep on (date of his death) and is awaiting the return of his Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ”. Unfortunately, the Gospel message didn’t really go any further than that, nor did any of his personal extensive involvement in a Bible-based ministry. The on-line Internet Guest Book gave more of an accurate testimony of my friend’s life than his obituary did.

If I do write an obituary on myself, I’ll probably give it to at least one of my sons in a sealed envelope just in case my passing takes place sooner rather than later. The more and more I think about it, the more and more I love the idea. Please enjoy Mr. Holden’s obituary and keep in mind, the guy wrote this about himself.) 

http://lancasteronline.com/obituaries/local/856748_John-E--Holden.html

Intelligencer Journal
Lancaster New Era

Updated: Jun 06, 2013,  10:52

John E. Holden, alias Jack, took the Deep Six, Monday, May 27, 2013 at the Willow Valley Retirement Community after a life filled with endless laughter and debauchery. While flying his beloved Corsair as a Marine Fighter Pilot during WWII, he was awarded the Distinguished Flying Cross for his combat activities, the Air Medal for action in Okinawa in 1945 and the Distinguished Fleeing Cross for avoiding numerous women who were seeking child support under unproven circumstances.

After WWII he spent eight years with the Armstrong Cork Company and resigned with the title of Assistant Director of Advertising plus a dinky pension. He then joined the Hubley Toy Company and later became an independent toy designer.

He was a longstanding member of the Lancaster Country Club, the Hamilton Club and the International Mickey Mouse Club from which he was immediately banned after providing housing for a number stray cats.

For many years prior to his demise, he wrote a tongue in cheek publication at ­Willow Valley called "The Wrinkle Valley News" where he had close to a thousand readers whom he referred to as "The Inmates of Wrinkle Valley." They fully enjoyed his creative humor and his intention to help them make unwise decisions in their ­hectic lives.

Jack was widowed ten years ago after sixty-one years of marriage to Elaine Ewing Holden. He has had a number of other wives recently, none of which were his. Three daughters, Holly, Wendy and Anne Holden and a son, John E. Holden, Jr. have managed to survive despite being related to their father. His last words were "I'm really going to miss myself."

Stay tuned for the "Gone Away" party to which the invitation may never come. In all seriousness, in lieu of flowers, please send ­donations to Honor Flight, 300 E. Auburn Avenue, Springfield, OH 45505 or www.­honorflight.org.

Jack Holden wrote this obituary several years ago.