Patton: In NH, Should Baby Bottles Hold Beer?

Experts tell us that because Congress is dysfunctional, all the important political action has shifted to state legislatures. And we can clearly see that point demonstrated here in New Hampshire where our state politicians have been locked in an epic battle to decide whether a baby’s picture can appear on a beer bottle. Now, that’s what I call a sizeable gut issue, particularly given the large bellies of some beer drinkers.

“Republican state Rep. Keith Murphy, who runs a popular tavern, sponsored the bill because he wanted to be able to buy Breakfast Stout, crafted by Founders Brewery Co. in Grand Rapids, Michigan. The beer’s label depicts a chubby Norman Rockwell - esque baby scooping oatmeal into his mouth.” (New York Daily News, 6/2/2015)

At first glance that bill doesn’t seem like the sort of issue that would engender much opposition, and, indeed, the bill passed both the state House and the Senate. But then, Gov. Maggie Hassan vetoed the bill.
In her veto statement, Hassan wrote, “Substance misuse, including alcohol misuse, continues to be one of the major public health and safety challenges facing us as a state. Moreover, statistics suggest that New Hampshire has among the highest rates of underage drinking in the country.”

The state law is clear on this matter. “RSA 179:31 prohibits alcohol advertising, including labels, from containing ‘any reference to minors, pictorial or otherwise.’“(Lawrence Eagle-Tribune, 6/4/2015). In addition, federal law forbids alcohol advertising that targets minors.

Moreover, it’s not as if beer drinkers in the Granite State can’t get Breakfast Stout. This brew is still available here on tap. Nevertheless, Rep. Murphy was puzzled by Hassan’s veto. “No reasonable person would believe that this label is intended to appeal to minors in any way.” (New York Daily News, 6/2/2015)

Also, Murphy’s bill would give the State Liquor Commission discretion to decide whether or not alcohol advertising was offensive and targeted to underage drinkers.

Ah, but the plot (not to mention the beer) thickened (Breakfast Stout contains oats, chocolate and two kinds of coffee, making it more a breakfast meal than a beverage). Upon close examination. the issue grew more complicated. “Maine denied approval for beer importer Shelton Brothers to bring in Ridgway Brewing’s Santa’s Butt Winter Porter.” (reason.com, 6/5/15). Can’t say that I’d be drawn to drinking that particular brew.

Moreover, “This isn’t the first time Founders’ cheeky advertising has gotten the brewery in trouble. The Alabama Alcoholic Beverage Control Board initially refused to allow Founders to sell its ‘Dirty Bastard’ and ‘Backwoods Bastard’ ales in the Yellowhammer State because of the curse word in the title . . .” (The Huffington Post (6/5/15)

So, which side of the argument is correct? Let’s throw the matter open to the public. In her blog Jezebel (6/12/15), Kelly Faircloth invited comments on Murphy’s bill from her readers just after the House managed to override Hassan’s veto. From the nature of the comments, I suspect that her readers may have become intoxicated simply by reading about powerful Breakfast Stout. Let’s just say some appear to have weaved or staggered or lurched off point.

For example, some took the opportunity to either bash or praise the Granite State. Said one, “New Hampshire is the weirdest state. It’s like the unholy lovechild of a L.L. Bean Catalog and a Stephen King novel.”
Another chimed in enthusiastically. “More guns, though. Also, no income tax. Also, you can legally drive your uninsured car naked in the woods.” Sounds like a veritable paradise what with all those naked cars and people driving around.

One complained, “there’s (nothing) for teens to do in your (boring) state.”
To which a high-minded environmentalist replied, “NH has some great outdoor recreation opportunities up in the White Mountains. Get out in nature and enjoy the beautiful places. The weather is getting nice.”

Which brought the sardonic reply, “It’s truuue. Cow-tipping, shooting beer cans off those old stone walls at the edge of your property, and getting (drunk). “

Eventually, readers recovered enough from their literary intoxication to wander back toward the topic at hand: baby pictures on beer bottles. A few preferred puns to make their point. “Kelly, would you say there is a controversy brewing here.”

Which produced this response from another reader, “That barley passes for a decent pun.”

At this point, a few had recovered enough to think straight on the issue. “it seems super shady that the only reason it came to a vote is because a specific representative doesn’t like how the law applies to his business. What about the appearance of a conflict of interest?”

Said another, “He should have recused himself. Also, writing legislation to benefit one’s self/business is a clear violation of the ethical standards for NH legislators.”

To which an opponent answered, “Well, in response, two-thirds of the house reps have now voted to override her veto.”

Then things started to get silly again. “Or approximately 9,746 representatives. I think I have the size of the New Hampshire House right.”

And drifted back to residents of different states trading insults. “New Hampshire has such strange politics.”

“Kansan here. Wish this was our state’s biggest problem.”

“I’ve never understood how Vermont can be so sane, and New Hampshire so (messed up).”

So what did we learn from these members of the public. They may not remind us of Daniel Webster or Henry Clay in their profundity, but, were they legislators, they would have a good time debating issues and maybe get tipsy just from reading the bills.

Gary Patton is the author of “Outtastatahs: Newcomers’ Adventures in New Hampshire.” “Outtastatahs” can be obtained on-line at Amazon.com or at local bookstores in Concord, Portsmouth, Exeter, and Hampton. Patton’s new book, “Selling Mt. Washington”.