Patton: Rand Paul 'Livestreams' (Unhappily)

Donald Trump and Rand Paul have something in common. They both enjoy making off-the-cuff, candid, provocative remarks. Normally, politicians avoid spontaneous comments preferring instead vague, vetted, and well-rehearsed statements, which cannot come back to haunt them. If they are specific, that is, if they present a detailed policy plan, sure enough, critics will find flaws in the details. The lesson learned: be vague. Moreover, if they just blurt something out about another person, sure enough, the facts will later prove them wrong and make them look like a fool. The lesson learned: be cautious.

Nevertheless, both Trump and Paul just let it all hang out. Trump gets away with it because voters are amused and entertained by Trump’s comments which they may have thought themselves, but dared not speak. Paul is less successful because he leans heavily on sarcastic remarks, and listeners may not understand his brand of humor.

Paul has an additional problem which he shares with other candidates not named Donald Trump. Trump gets so much attention from the media that the others tend to be ignored. So, they must do something unusual and dramatic to grab the attention of the public. Hence, Rand Paul’s campaign came up with the idea of the candidate appearing live before a camera for an entire day of campaigning - the ultimate in reality television.

The event proved to be less compelling than Paul’s handlers wished. “The result was a reality television show that’s about as interesting as watching grass grow. No, really: There was one part where he did, in fact, watch grass grow. OK, maybe Paul watched a field of corn through a car window as his team drove from one campaign stop to the next.” (Akilah Johnson, Boston Globe, 10/14/2015).

And Rand Paul was not pleased with the predicament in which he found himself. At one point Paul was asked by a reporter why he was doing this. “I wish I knew,” Paul said. “I’ve been saying, I don’t want to do this. I don’t want to do this. And now we’re doing this.

“Slightly after 7 p.m., Paul stood in front of a parking lot and reluctantly announced that his campaign asked him to read mean tweets about himself, a bit similar to the popular recurring feature on ‘Jimmy Kimmel Live.’” (Business Insider, 10/14/2015).

Paul appeared out of patience when the third tweet asked him if he was still running for president. “I wouldn’t be doing this dumbass livestream if It weren’t so. So, yes, I’m still running for president. Get over it, “ (Huffington Post, 10/14/2015) (The popular and persuasive Donald Trump helps create the idea of Rand Paul’s demise by repeatedly suggesting that Paul’s campaign is on its last legs. Trump likes to punish those who criticize him, as Paul has done.)

While still in a masochistic mood, Paul answered more mean tweets about himself. “But perhaps the most viewed part of the day - at least by judging by buzz the following day - was his reading of mean tweets. (‘dressed like a sporty Spock,’ ‘hair looks like Ramen noodles,’ ‘like a bucket of French grease on his head,’ and answering the top searches on his name on Google (He’s 5-foot-8-inches tall and 52 years old.” (Huffington Post, 10/14/2015).

While this sort of sarcastic humor probably plays well with Millennials, it is hard to see how a grandmother in Iowa making pancakes for breakfast thinks it’s funny. Nevertheless, it is part of Paul, and he can’t control himself.

Paul also took a little time to berate members of his own party. “He found it disturbing that his Republican rivals are in agreement with Clinton when it comes to ‘beating their chest(s) to see who is the most likely to get us involved in a war.’” (Josh Feldman, 10/14/2015).

This presidential campaign marks a watershed. In the past, we have had candidates who strove mightily to appear “presidential;” that is serious, intelligent , well-informed, and mature. Now, we have Donald Trump, an unrepentant braggart who fires volleys of personal insults at his rivals, and Rand Paul, whose campaign style might be more suited to stand-up comedy in nightclubs. Yes, indeed, the times, they are a changing.

The times are a changing in our lives, too. It’s almost Christmas shopping season.

If you would like a modestly-priced novel for a friend or relative about New Hampshire politics, let me suggest my newest book, “Selling Mt. Washington” This satirical novel by yours truly, Gary Patton, explores in comic fashion the murky wheeling and dealing of New Hampshire politics. Sylvia Larsen, Past President of the New Hampshire State Senate, writes, “Author Gary Patton offers up a comedic romp through the twisted path of New Hampshire politics. With tongue-in-cheek humor, we gain real insights into the inner workings of the Granite State’s byzantine political system.”

“Selling Mt. Washington” is now available in Portsmouth at the River Run Bookstore , Discover Portsmouth, and Tugboat Alley. In Exeter, this book can be obtained at The Water Street Bookstore and the Country Store at RiverWoods. In Hampton, look for it at the Galley Hatch gift shop. In North Hampton, it is available at “The Book Outlet.” In Concord, “Selling Mt. Washington” can be found at Gibson’s Bookstore. It is also available on-line at Amazon.com. Patton is also the author of “Outtastatahs: Newcomers’ Adventures in New Hampshire.”