Patton: Where's J.D. Salinger's House?

When I wrote the book “Outtastatahs: Newcomers’ Adventures in New Hampshire,” I included short pieces about famous Granite Staters. Daniel Webster was born in Franklin; Robert Frost had a home in Derry; and Franklin Pierce’s house is in Concord. But, somehow, I forgot about author J.D. Salinger. My omission would have pleased Salinger who, according to legend, had an obsessive desire to avoid the spotlight.

In 1953, Salinger escaped the frenzy of New York City and sought peace, solitude, and tranquility in tiny Cornish, New Hampshire. He purchased a home there and lived in it until he sold it to the present owner Joan Littlefield. In 2010, Salinger died at the age of 91, and in 2014, Littlefield put the house on the market for $679,000. Strangely enough, Salinger’s house has not yet been sold. According to Adam Langer (Forward, 6/14/2015), “Jane Darrach, the real estate agent for the property, has told me the price has dropped to ‘585-ish.’”

Langer notes “At first it seems surprising that Salinger’s home has been on the market so long. You’d figure that some rabid fan, some like-minded artistic recluse or some literary foundation would have snapped the joint up and turned it into a historic site or a writers’ retreat.”

Part of the problem might be that, at least when Salinger was alive, tourists had a hard time finding his house. According to Katie Zezima (New York Times, 1/31/2010), “The curious constantly descended on Cornish and the surrounding area, asking for directions to Mr. Salinger’s house. Instead of finding the home, interlopers would end up on a wild goose chase.

“’How far afield the directions went ‘depended on how arrogant they were,’ said Mike Ackerman, owner of the Cornish General Store. Mr. Salinger, he said, ‘was like the Batman icon. Everyone knew Batman existed, and everyone knew there’s a Batcave, but no one will tell you where it is.’”

So there you have it. You can own J.D. Salinger’s former home for a mere $585,000. Think of what Donald Trump would do with it. Think of what the Walt Disney Company would do with it. Think of all the money you could make in a town of only 2000 people where people won’t give you directions to Salinger’s home. Hmm, you’d better think again. Put your wallet away.

I don’t suffer from Salinger’s alleged reclusiveness. And so I am ready right here and now to tell you up front that I recently published my second book, a satirical novel entitled “Selling Mt. Washington.”

What’s it about? Okay, you didn’t ask, but I’ll tell you anyway.

“Selling Mt. Washington” involves an attempt to pass a bill through the New Hampshire state legislature which would sell Mt. Washington State Park and allow wind turbines to be installed on it. Joe Tanner has struck a deal with his state party chairman. The chair will see to it that Joe is named state attorney general, if Joe can find a candidate for a vacant state senate seat, elect that candidate, and make sure that person votes to defeat a bill to put wind turbines on blustery Mt. Washington.

Joe’s problem is that no one wants the Senate job. It pays only $100 per year and his party is such an underdog that his candidate stands virtually no chance of winning the seat. No one wants it , that is, but a bumpkin and “outtastatah” (out-of-stater) named Charlie Beezer. Joe’s girl friend, Ann Katz, loathes Charlie Beezer, considering him to be an oaf and a clod. But Joe has no choice but to run Charlie as his candidate.

And there the pandemonium begins, with Beezer confounding, confusing, dumbfounding, startling, and astounding all those who deal with him. Will Beezer win the state senate seat? Will he vote against the wind turbine bill? Will wind turbines despoil the majesty and grandeur of Mt. Washington? Will Joe Tanner become state attorney general? Will Ann Katz’s distaste for Charlie Beezer ruin her romance with Joe? As they say, “stay tuned.”

“Selling Mt. Washington” is presently available in bookstores in Portsmouth, Exeter, and Hampton, Copies can also be purchased on-line at Amazon.com.