2 School Board Members Try To Abolish Transgender Student Policy In Bridgewater-Raritan

BRIDGEWATER, NJ — Two Bridgewater-Raritan Board of Education(BOE) members tried to abolish Policy 5756 (Transgender Student Guidance for School Districts) at a meeting last week, claiming it "intends to rip parents apart from their children."

Board members Lanfang "Lucy" Li and Jeremy Li introduced a vote to abolish the policy at the Feb. 25 BOE meeting.

Both members expressed disagreement with a portion of the policy that states school districts are guided to accept a student's gender identity and school staff are not required to notify parents of a student’s change in gender identity or expression.

"It forces students to go through one of the most challenging moments in their lives alone without the people they love. Rather than forcing students to navigate their gender identity alone we need to find ways to work with our parents to ensure each student gets the love and attention they deserve," said Jeremy Li. "At the end of the day, it's not the job of our schools to raise students but the responsibility of parents to raise their children."

Board President Steven Singer disagreed with Li's comments.

"I have a big problem with you saying that this policy is intended to rip parents apart from students and forcing them to go through this alone," said Singer. "I think the policy is actually intended to make sure that students don’t go through this alone and that they have personnel within the school that are there to support them in every step of the way."

"My viewpoint on this really ultimately is the people that will best support our students are going to be the parents. I think in my life, my parents have been the most supportive people in my life, so suggesting that the first conversation had about gender identity should be with an administrator I think is really the wrong approach to how we should be talking about gender identity," said Jeremy Li.

Singer noted that nothing in the policy prevents a student from talking to their parent.

"The simple purpose of the policy is not have an onus on the district to as someone else said 'out' that student. If the student wants to talk to their parents about that, obviously they can do that. There’s nothing in this policy that would make that not possible," said Singer.

"I think allowing schools to keep information about students' gender identity secret from parents is the wrong thing to do. I think it's in the best interest of students and parents that everyone is informed about what’s going on with students in school," said Li.

During the meeting, Lucy Li also pointed to a ruling from the NJ Appellate Court on amendments that the Manalapan-Englishtown, Marlboro and Middletown school boards made to the policy, which would require school staff to notify parents when a student changes their gender identity.

Policy Background

Policy 5756 (also known as “Transgender Student Guidance for School Districts”) follows guidance from the NJ Department of Education.

In the policy, school districts are guided to accept a student’s gender identity and school staff are not required to notify parents of a student’s change in gender identity or expression.

The Manalapan-Englishtown School District, the Middletown Board of Education and the Marlboro Board of Education amended its policy in June 2023 to require school staff to notify a student’s parent if that student requested a gender identity change at school.

After the three districts amended their policies, NJ Attorney General Matt Platkin sued them, arguing that the districts were putting LGBTQ+ and transgender kids at risk and violating New Jersey’s Law Against Discrimination.

On Feb. 10, 2025 the NJ Appellate Court agreed with an earlier ruling from the Monmouth County Superior Court, which found that the three districts could not enforce their amended policies, though the Appellate Court did rule that the districts could now consider alternative policies.

Following the Appellate Court's ruling, the Manalapan-Englishtown Board of Education introduced a motion to abolish Policy 5756.

Parents and Board Feedback

Boardmember AJ Joshi read a letter that was submitted to the BOE by parent Laura Whalen supporting the policy and pointed to suicide rate of LGBTQ+ children.

"Things like permitting a child to use one name at school without parental notification can be life saving. You see, you do not know about that child's home environment LGBTQ+ support and acceptance varies greatly among house holds. If you force notification to home you are forcing the child to come out at home and forcing a person to come out can be very dangerous. Not all home enviorenments are loving and supportive. You may actually provide a reason for the child to be beaten and abused and the reverse by allowing them to use their chosen name at school gives them a safer space that could potentially reduce suicide rates," wrote Whalen.

Joshi also pointed to the Code of Ethics training Boardmembers took this past January which stated, "I will make decisions in terms of the educational welfare of children and will seek to develop and maintain public schools that meet the individual needs of children regardless of their ability, race, creed, sex, or social standing."

"We are here to protect children. And if I can prevent one child from dying I will do that. And I think this policy protects everyone. Taking it out does nothing. Keeping it in does alot and does a lot of good," said Joshi.

Board member Rebecca Hassouna agreed with Joshi.

"It's a very privileged lifestyle and upbringing to assume that every single child in our district has loving parents and two loving parents in their home who will accept them for who they are, for whatever reason," said Hassouna. "There are so many reasons why a child can be afraid to go home and say what they want whether it be sexual orientation or anything. We are in a position where we ned to protect our children, all of them, no matter what. Assuming they will be safe going home is unacceptable."

Jeremy Li disagreed with Hassouna and Joshi's statements.

"This policy assumes that households are absuive. It assumes that we need to be protecting students from parents and I think that’s the wrong mindset to have. Really, parents are one of the most important people when it comes to a student's education," said Li. "I don't think this policy will prevent suicide. It doesn’t prevent students from bullying other students because of their transgender identity."

Superintendent Robert Beers shared the history of the policy and weighed in on Jeremy Li's comments.

"Within this policy what you see is that although it doesn’t make parental notification mandatory, in no way shape or form does it rip apart families," said Beers. "Nowhere in this policy, nowhere, does it state that parents are not informed. I would rather as the leader of this district, have the professionals within our district, counselors, adults, helping a child through whatever they are experiencing, and many times we know that is including the family and their support mechanism. So to think that doesn't happen is a falsehood because that’s what everyone’s working toward."

Beers also added that over his career in other districts he has worked with transgender students before.

"As long as I am in this chair, I will protect the kids of this district and I will also abide by the law and the guidance of the New Jersey Department of Education," said Beers.

A parent and a teacher in the district, Lexi Ryan, spoke at the meeting.

"I think this policy is important. I think that getting rid of it at a time when people in our country are trying to tell transgender and nonbinary individuals that their identity is not valid - I think that is incredibly hurtful," said Ryan.

President of the Bridgewater-Raritan Education Association Laura Kress questioned why some people feel driven to push their will above the law and onto others even when it doesn't directly affect them.

"I would like to think that people have some kind of sense of self-reflection and ask themselves 'Why? And if doesn't this affect me do I need to insert myself and really make an effort to change things?'," said Kress.

Ultimately, Board members voted against abolishing policy 5756. Both Jeremy Li and Lucy Li voted in favor of abolishing the policy, with the remainder ofthe board members voting against it. Board Vice President Emily Calistri abstained from the vote, saying that she needed time to review the policy before making a decision.

Editor's Note: A previous version of this story incorrectly attributed Singer's quotes to another board member.

— With reporting by Sara Winick

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