Bridgewater Widow Turns 9/11 Tragedy Into A Positive Lesson

BRIDGEWATER, NJ — Twenty years after the Sept. 11, 2001 attacks Cynthia Tumulty-Ollemar still breaks down when talking about her husband Lance, who died in the World Trade Center. Yet she continues to share his story to teach and help others.

Lance Tumulty, 32, was captain of the Matawan High School football team before he graduated in 1987. He married Cynthia in 1994 and was father to his two daughters Sara and Caroline.

The couple, who lived in Bridgewater, had just celebrated their seventh wedding anniversary. Lance had also "ironically" just switched jobs and buildings to work as a manager of distressed trading operations for Eurobrokers Inc. in the World Trade Center, said Tumulty-Ollemar.

Lance was working on the 84th floor of the South Tower.

The morning of Sept. 11, 2001, Tumulty-Ollemar was getting their three-year-old Sara ready to go to preschool for her first day when she got a call from Lance.

"I actually spoke to him that morning. He called when the plane hit the first tower and said he was fine and loved me and would call me later," said Tumulty-Ollemar.

The television was on as her sister-in-law was babysitting their 4-month-old daughter Caroline. As Tumulty-Ollemar was walking out the door, she saw the second plane hit the South Tower.

"I tried to call and couldn't reach him, in a nutshell, we didn't know anything. A few days later my brother-in-law confirmed Lance was likely at his desk when the plane hit. He was really at the point of impact," said Tumulty-Ollemar.

"Nothing of him was ever recovered," said Tumulty-Ollemar. "We are one of the families who have received nothing."

For years, Tumulty-Ollemar did not feel comfortable sharing her story.

"I just wanted to be a very normal stay-at-home mother and raise my kids. I wasn't ready to talk about my experience," said Tumulty-Ollemar.

It wasn't until the National September 11 Memorial & Museum opened on the tenth anniversary of the attacks in 2011 that she wanted to get involved.

"I always think about what [Lance] would want me to do. Would he want me to sit around and be sad? Or live my life? I try to live my life the way he would have wanted me to," said Tumulty-Ollemar.

Tumulty-Ollemar began volunteering and giving tours at the museum for visitors. Part of that entailed sharing her own story to give visitors a personal connection to the events of that day.

"Giving the tours I don't think I could've told my story shortly after it happened. It was very emotional to relive that day. But when I would share it, as hard as it was, people would thank me for making them realize what happened that day," said Tumulty-Ollemar. "Some people have a disconnect about what happened and to speak personally puts a connection to that day."

Tumulty-Ollemar who was a teacher in Bernardsville said this was her way of "teaching others how it affected people personally that day. You can read in a history book what happened but unless you speak with someone who has gone through it themselves you won't truly understand," said Tumulty-Ollemar.

Through the museum, she got involved with Operation: S.T.A.T. (Standing Tall for American Troops) and started her own New Jersey chapter in 2014. The non-profit organization focused its attention on Veterans who are being treated in the NJ VA Hospital Lyons Campus and surrounding area veteran facilities.

The very first Christmas, Tumulty helped deliver 65 stockings to the hospital. Last year she was delivering over 1,500 stockings.

"The organization is really hands-on. We thank each veteran for their service," said Tumulty-Ollemar. "I would make a point to tell them about my husband and they would say, 'I can't believe you are thanking me.' ...After 9/11 I wanted to thank each veteran for giving us our freedoms that were taken away that day."

From Operation S.T.A.T. Tumulty-Ollemar then also joined the Board for the New Jersey 911 Memorial Foundation Inc. This year the group is hosting two events.

The first is the Empty Sky Memorial Remembrance Ceremony on Saturday at 2 p.m. (rain or shine. Free admission. Gov. Phil Murphy, federal, state and local dignitaries will be in attendance.

The second event is the Empty Sky Memorial USATF 5K Run/Walk on Sunday at the memorial at the foot of Audrey Zapp Drive in Liberty State Park in Jersey City. Rain or shine, check-in booth opens at 8:30 a.m., 9/11 ceremony at 9:30 a.m. and race at 10 a.m. For information or to sign up visit raceforum.com/emptysky.

For more information call 908-209-3108 or email info@nj911memorial.org or visit nj911memorial.org.

Being involved in all of these organizations is Tumulty-Ollemar's way of giving back.

"After 9/11, I wouldn't wish anyone to be in my position but if I wasn't in that position I wouldn't have seen the outpouring of compassion," said Tumulty-Ollemar.

Now Tumulty-Ollemar is working on starting her own organization in Lance's memory.

"Working for Empty Sky and the tribute museum helps to honor Lance and keep him in the picture and talking about him and sharing that story," said Tumulty-Ollemar.

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