Tonight I discovered wonderful, magical beings called "Fireflies"! I don't know what people usually do with them, but I chased them around the yard and caught them in my mouth. After I caught them, to the apparent disgust and amusement of my people, I ate them.
I'm a bit of a hunter. I don't see this as a problem. I'm not a crazy serial killer, after all. I insist on not wasting anything, and I eat whatever I kill. However, when my people found me munching happily on the remains of a bird that had fallen out of a tree, they immediately yanked it out of my mouth and handed me a bowl of what looked like little dry meat flavored pellets. So unfair!
I also like to eat shoes. I don't quite understand why this is a problem with my people. Sure, I will admit that I have bones and toys to spare, but what I truly crave are shoes. I love all shoes. They come in all sorts of neat styles. There are boots and slippers, sandals and work shoes, and I find them all fascinating. I don't feel much guilt about chewing on shoes because I only take one of each shoe at a time. Since people insist on having two of each shoe, they could at least share one with me.
This all makes perfect sense to me. Am I the only one out here who feels this way?
