Lessons from Afghanistan

At 6'4, 200 pounds, Army Command Sergeant Major Anthony Riccio describes himself as a "military guy."

But there's one thing that can cause him to choke up with emotion – thinking about giving an American flag he carried on missions in Afghanistan to a Cranford fourth grader whose father died in the attack on the World Trade Center on September 11^th.

"[I thought] I can give him a little something back for his loss," Riccio said.

Riccio did that and much more when he recently visited the fourth grade class at Brookside Place School.

Since the fall, Riccio had been receiving letters from the fourth graders while he was stationed in Afghanistan. Riccio retired from the Army in 2004 after 24 years in the military but was recently called out of retirement.

Riccio said he was introduced to the class's teacher, Mrs. Starkey, through a mutual friend. He said the students wanted to write him letters, and he was thrilled by the idea.

So every few months Riccio would receive a batch of letters at his base in Afghanistan. He said in most of the letters students asked basic living questions like how the weather was in Afghanistan, what his job entailed and if he was hungry all the time. Riccio said he was moved by the letters and so were his fellow soldiers.

As the culmination of the letter writing exchange, Riccio recently came to meet the fourth graders in person.

"I think that made the whole situation real for them," he said. "I got the chance to see their smiles and curiosity."

He spent about an hour and a half rereading some of the letters the students had written him and answering their questions.

He said one of the hardest questions came from a boy who wanted to know about the affects of war.

"In a polite and kind way I tried to communicate to him that war isn't all about killing. It's about assistance. Sometimes we have to use combat to remove the bad guys from the situation. But our real interests as soldiers is helping people," Riccio said.

The most emotional part of the morning was when Riccio presented the American flag to the boy whose father died on 9/11. His mother was also there to accept the flag. Riccio said he wanted the boy to know that "we all [soldiers] honor your father."

At the end of the morning, the students asked Mrs. Starkey if the Sergeant Major was allowed to play kickball with them.

"That's when I knew I was accepted by the clan," Riccio said.

He said he didn't hesitate. Not bad for a "military guy."