The Radical’s Blog: Lesson Plans and Ice Cream - Part II

In part I of this blog, I wrote about the child side of my day as an Ice Cream Sundae Father. Part II is about the adult side of that day back in February. From the innocence that was my hazing of a child who called AC/DC “old man music,” I found myself in a very real and emotional conversation. This conversation took place over four months ago and I do not remember the exact conversation. What I remember are the emotions expressed and the looks on their faces. I am writing about this now because I think many parents and members of the community should be aware of how the “rank and file” teachers feel. Call it a father’s "thank you" for what the teachers in this conversation do for my children and all of the children in Gloucester Township.

This PTA event was the same week I published two blogs about schools. One was complimenting how the PTA leadership conducted business, saying they should run for public office. The other was a blog about stopping insulting teachers with regards to sick and vacation time. As a semi-public figure I am used to people I know coming up to me on the street and commenting on a blog I wrote or Patch article about the "good government" fight I am part of. In between lunches, both the principals and leaders of the PTA had thanked me for the kind words. I reiterated my support for the PTA and teachers, but the conversation quickly went on to other topics. What happened at the end of one of the lunch periods caught me by surprise and completely off guard.

The adult bathroom attached to Loring-Flemming's cafeteria is inside the teachers' lounge, and to use it I had to pass through the phalanx of teachers having their “SOUPer Bowl Lunch,” where everyone brings in a soup or other item while the kids have ice cream. Even though I am pushing 40 years old with multiple engineering degrees and speak in front of executives of billion dollar companies, when I pass by a table of a dozen or more elementary school teachers I still feel like I am 10 years old again. They certainly have a presence about them. I managed to pass by on my way to the bathroom sneaking in just an “uhhhh, hi.” On my way out, however, I heard a “Oh, hi, Mr. Berry. How are you?” from one of my children’s former teachers.

Following the customary “Good. Busy with work and the kids” exchanges, one of them asked if I was the guy from Patch. Usually conversations that start like this go in one of a few directions: they vent about the governmental issues I write about, we joke about the non-governmental blogs, or get into some kind of political discussion. Only a few people have scolded me on the political side, with most of the political discussions being very “adult,” meaning even if they disagree with me on points, we discuss it with respect. A few times I have changed some people's view and they have changed mine. That dialogue is part of why I write about politics and talk to people from all viewpoints. I believe all viewpoints should be heard and understood, even if one disagrees with it.

This time, though, the conversation started out lighter then became very somber. They all thanked me for what I had written previously. We even spoke about the mechanics of blogging on Patch. They joked how they hazed Snogger No. 2’s teacher when I mentioned her in one of the blogs—“Hey, you made the Patch.” I do not know how the conversation turned, but one of them again thanked me for defending them but this time I felt like she was holding back some tears. I remember joking some people think I am a Radical Republican who hates teachers and kids and schools and apple pie. I remember reiterating some of what I said in the previous blog including my kids spending most of their waking day with the teachers and staff, so how could I not support them?

It was then when it became deeper than I thought possible. I stood there in front of these elementary teachers and for the first time didn’t feel like I was 10, but was instead talking to fellow professionals and parents. In the five minutes I was there, we spoke on a number of topics relating to teaching. What I read on their faces and in their tones was a combination of fatigue and sadness over being beaten up by the press and other parents. I made a comment about trusting what they tell me about my children but I will absolutely verify it. Not because I do not believe them but because I know my kids and sometimes even trustworthy people can make a mistake. One of them asked if I would give a parenting clinic. All I could think of was my ex’s reaction to attending this and left before I said anything incriminating.

The thought of me giving a parenting class because I support teachers seemed absurd. As I walked back to the ice cream tables, I could only imagine what teachers go through on a daily basis if this is how they react to someone defending them publicly on Patch and then to their faces. I am far from the model parent. I have my flaws like everyone else does, but I try to stay involved and support my kids and the school ecosystem. That includes my local school principals and teachers.

To the teachers of Loring-Flemming and those of any school who read this, please know there are many parents out there who support you, even when we disagree with one of your actions. I know you are not responsible for the decisions of your union. I also know you are human and can get as cranky or frustrated as I can be. Maybe we don’t express our support enough because we are busy with our lives. Whatever the reason, please do not take criticism of the union as a criticism of you or take a parent's frustration at another teacher or an incident as an indictment of all teachers. If we snap at you at the end of a long day at work, it is because we are tired or frustrated at the situation. Please enjoy this summer with your families and come back in the fall knowing there are parents who support you.

I’d like for the other parents out there and members of the community to use the comments section to show appreciation to your child’s school or to an individual teacher. From what I observed in February, we need to do this more often. I will pass along any kind words to the schools.