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Health & Fitness

My Father's Rants - "Telemarketers"

William A. Whitcraft's profile picture
William A. Whitcraft, Neighbor
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I love Telemarketers!!

This morning Mae and I were having a very serious discussion about the crisis in Egypt. Yesterday a United States Senator was on television insisting that we cut off aid to Egypt to show them that we mean business.  I don't understand anything about the whole dreadful mess and what he was saying seemed to make some kind of sense. Then, this morning a congresswoman was on explaining what the ramifications of that would be for things like the Suez Canal.  Wow!!  She was loaded with all kinds of very impressive factual information.  My mind did a sharp 180 degree turn. 

I'm always impressed by publicly verifiable factual information!!
[I'm always frightened by any kind of fact-free thinking!!]

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In the middle of our conversation the phone rang.  It was one of those telemarketers.  You have to love them!! So, I interrupted our discussion of empty-headed, fact-free politicians and took a minute to enjoy the poor telemarketer.

She asked: "Are you John?"
I said: "No, I'm his wife Elsie Mae."
---Silence---
I went on: "John is on the can."
---Then, Mae almost ruined things by beginning to break up---
The lady started to say something, so I interrupted and continued:
"He stays on the can almost all of the time in case he has an accident."
and: "That way we don't have a mess to clean up."
The lady tried again to break in, but I just kept on:
"He just presses that little lever and the mess becomes somebody else's problem."
I was all ready to go on to a long, complicated rant about always passing our problems
on to someone else when she announced very sharply:
"Well, you have a nice day, Ma'm"

When Mae finally got control of herself,  we continued talking about Egypt, the Suez Canal, idiot politicians, facts, and fact-free thinking.[I can still hear Mae upstairs laughing. And, the whole thing didn't cost a cent! How dull life would be without telemarketing.]

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