I Walk the Line

We all have been exposed to the necessary evils of waiting on line, be it the supermarket, the bank or the dreaded motor vehicles! Standing on line is tedious but a necessary part of a civilized life. A waste of my time I suppose but the only way to avoid chaos. I thought until recently that I had experienced all kind of horrible lines but I would find out differently.

My friends and I were lucky enough to get free tickets online to see Andrea Bocelli in concert. It was to be performed in Central Park with the New York Philharmonic Orchestra. Just to make the event more spectacular was the guest appearance of Celine Dion and Tony Bennett!

Of course the weather was beautiful all week except for Thursday, the day of the concert, which was rainy and cool. We waited with anticipation that they would announce the rain date of Friday, which was to be sunny and mild but no such luck! So with our dollar store rain ponchos in hand we drove into the city hoping the rain would hold out just a few hours for the concert.

We were fortunate enough to find a parking spot right off Central Park West and 73^rd Street. That is when the rain decided to come down sideways. We waited it out in the car and after 30 minutes the rain let up so we ventured out to get in line.

Little did we realize the line that had accumulated to such gigantic proportions! The entrance was on 72^nd Street but the line did not start and end there. We all gasped when we saw it going for blocks, headed downtown as far as the eye could see! Ten or so blocks later and somewhere half way around Columbus Circle we got in line.

The line went slowly, sometimes taking only baby steps toward our destination. We chatted and joked a bit trying our best to be upbeat about the situation, when somewhere between 67^th Street and 68^th Street things were about to turn ugly.

Now I want to warn you right here that if you ever have thoughts about cutting into a line and my friend Diane is there, just don’t do it!

A young woman and her boyfriend came up to Diane and asked her if they could get in line behind her. Diane turned to her and with a look like Mt Vesuvius ready to explode she replied “Absolutely not! See this line. It goes all the way down pass Columbus Circle. You have to go to the end and wait like the rest of us!”

The woman was about to plead some more when Diane cut her short. “I wouldn’t even let my husband cut in line when he arrived!”  This was true! Her husband Vinne, came in an hour later then us with two other friends. They passed us by looking beleaguered as they headed towards somewhere by Lincoln Center. We just waved and told him we would meet up with him in the park. 

The interlopers then asked several other people if they would mind if they cut in until they found some folks who didn’t seem to care. When security came around I knew that they were in for it. Diane grabbed the concert security guy who was all of 5 foot and ratted them out.

“See that girl there in the brown sweater, her and that guy next to her are line cutters! Go ahead tell them they have to go to the end of the line!” The little man sighed and timidly approached them. Of course they played it dumb like they had no idea what he was talking about. That is when the diminutive security man turned to the crowd and said, “Did anybody here see these two cut in line?” Diane raised her hand as high as it would go and said, “I did. I did!” Then she looked towards us her comrades in line for validation.

We meekly put up our hands in a halfhearted attempt as eyewitnesses. The long and short of it (ha ha, another short security guard joke) he let them stay not knowing how to enforce the situation which really peeved Diane. She was very angry, grumbling about the injustice of line cutting and thinking of suitable punishments for the crime, like 20 to life. Now you know why I warned you!

The evening went steadily down hill and two and a half hours later we were in the park, already having missed a half hour of the show! To make matters worse it started to rain again and there was no way you could sit even if you did like wet grass since everyone was standing, huddled together under their umbrellas, in a big mass blocking the stage. Needless to say we did not see much of Andrea or Celine and Tony and left early out of disgust and wet feet.

Is there a moral to this story? Let’s see . . . never go to see a free concert in Central Park on a rainy day when mega stars are playing there and never, ever cut in line in front of Diane!

Oh yeah and maybe waiting on line at the motor vehicles ain’t that bad after all!