It Only Hurts When I Go Online

Webster’s dictionary defines the word virus as follows:

(1)   Any various sub-microscopic pathogens composed of a single nucleic acid able to replicate only within a living cell.

(2)    Something that poison’s one soul or mind.

I must admit definition number two comes close but no where under virus is the modern definition that I am talking about. You know that horror that pops up quite benignly as a friendly little icon which invades your laptop and turns it into a useless piece of electronic waste!-It all started when I was innocently surfing the web and went on one of my cooking sites checking out recipes for turkey chili. Then bang it hit me all of a sudden. I felt faint and perspiration started to drip down the back of my neck.

A pop up appeared on my screen telling me Windows 7 Internet Security had detected a virus. It then asked me if I wanted to run a scan and destroy the infectious bugger. Yeah sure why not! I hit enter and that is when it took over my system entirely. It was a scam, an invader that takes over your computer then demands you pay for their software to get rid of it! Extortion! Blackmail I say!

I immediately called Glen, a friend of my husband’s, who is an IT whiz and consults high profile companies in all manner of computer technology. I told him what occurred and he said to bring it down to his office and he would run blah, blah and blah of blah (as you may imagine computer jargon came out of his mouth at that point, which was indiscernible to me) to cure my laptop.

I took the hour ride to his office and ended up having to leave the patient, I mean laptop, in his care since this would require an overnight stay to make sure the virus was eradicated and install new anti-virus software. She was so young, only a few months old. How could this happen to her? A day later the problem was resolved; my laptop was the picture of health! I picked up my electronic baby, glad to get things back to normal.

I dared that afternoon to casually surf on the web and went to the check the weather for the next several days when it happened again! “Windows 7 Internet Security has detected a virus.” “Argh!” I screamed. Then everything turned to black.

 That evening when my husband returned from work he noticed my laptop propping open the screen door. “What’s that doing there?” he asked. “There was such a lovely breeze outside I thought I would keep the door open with the doorstop.” I replied. “That is not a doorstop!” he said. My right eye started to twitch and sweat ran down my brow, “It is now!” I insisted. “Okay!” he said as he loosened his tie and went upstairs to change.

No questions were asked for the rest of the evening. Smart man my husband is!