Losing It!

I definitely would lose my head if it wasn’t attached, as the saying goes. You think as one matures the incidents of losing ones stuff would diminish. I have about six sets of gloves missing their mate that could contest that with age one does not necessarily develop a sense of responsibility with their possessions!

I have lost it all, gloves, sunglasses, wallets, jackets, cellphones, kid. Not that I lost my kid, more like misplaced for a moment or two! I find this more than frustrating since I consider myself pretty good at keeping things fairly organized. At least I think I do.

I seem to run into periods of losing stuff like when a baseball team has a bad losing streak. As of recent I have been experiencing one of those streaks! I brought a denim jacket with me when we went out to dinner with friends recently. Though the weather was balmy enough I brought it just in case and draped it on the back of my chair at the restaurant.

Dinner was delicious, the company was fabulous and by the time we arrived home and pulled into the driveway my husband noticed something missing and asked me “Where is your jacket?” “Oh, darn I left it at the restaurant!” “Typical” my husband sneered.

I called the next day and the girl who answered the phone said it was probably in the lost and found and I could pick it up. I drove to the restaurant and when I arrived I asked the hostess to check the lost and found for my denim jacket. She returned and told me it was not there! Huh how could it be missing from the lost and found?! Does the lost and found have its own lost and found? Too bad, I really liked that jacket. It was from the Simply Vera collection at Kohls…oh well I am sure Vera will forgive me.

My next losing episode took place at the theater. We went to see a Shakespeare play, at the Public Theater in the city with a group of friends. Right before curtain call I decided I wanted a bottle of water. I reached into my pocketbook, (the kind you could carry small children in) and grabbed a 20 dollar bill out of my wallet. When I got to the snack bar the young woman behind the counter told me they just ran out of bottled water. “I could give you a cup of tap water if you like?” she offered. “Sure that’s fine.” I told her and it’s free to boot I thought!

As I tried to balance a full cup of water and my pocketbook from the luggage department at Macy’s, I took off for the elevator to get to the performance on the top floor of the theater. Of course the elevator was full and we had to take the three flights of stairs. Try walking up stairs with a crowd of people balancing an 8 ounce cup of water and ice without spilling it! They should make it an Olympic event!

An usher stuffed a program into my hand almost knocking over my water as I carefully navigated myself and the plastic chalice to my seat, while not spilling a drop. (At least I think? My apologies to the lady in row G with the red coat.) I then settled into my chair for the show.

Two and a half hours later with no intermission and a full bladder, I made my exit, stage left for the ladies room. After that we all went out to a local restaurant for a bite to eat. We paid with credit cards so I didn’t even think about the 20 dollar bill till the next day at the CVS.

I went to go pay for a couple of birthday cards and noticed the twenty was missing from my wallet. I practically dumped my overnight bag entire contents on the counter with no Andrew Jackson to be found. I must have lost it in all the juggling about with the water in the theater. Darn it, that free cup of water cost me 20 bucks!

Since tragedies come in threes I now patiently await the third incident of losing something. While I wait I had a great idea for a reality show, it would be called “The Biggest Loser Too” Instead of people who lose weight it would be about people like myself that lose their stuff and all the drama that is created from the loss!

I just finished outlining the idea in a letter and I am ready to mail it to the producers at the TLC channel, home of the reality show. All I have to do is put a stamp on it and…..hey where did it go it was right here!

Aha, there’s number three!