Smart Phone, Dumb Me!

My cell phone has seen better days. It’s been the victim of careless spills from my purse and unintentionally exposed to dog slobber. Besides I have had it for three years and there have been a lot of innovations in the mobile phone world during that time. So I figured it's time to start shopping around.

My son Will stopped by for a visit the other day. I decided since he was far more technologically advanced than me, I would ask him his opinion on my phone dilemma. “Why don’t you get a smartphone? Everyone has them.” suggested Will. “Hm, yes I know I am probably the last human being on the planet that doesn’t have one but what makes a smartphone so smart? “Well, you can have the Internet at your finger tips at all times along with your email!” replied Will.

“I agree that’s handy but can’t I wait to get home to use the computer?!” I reasoned. “Then there are always the apps.” he said. “Apps? What is that like appetizers?” I offered jokingly. “Geeze Ma, have you been living in a cave?! Applications! They are programs you download. “They can do anything from finding you nearest Thai restaurant or give you the five day forecast and figure out what your best hair day is going to be.”

I could tell that I was wearing his patience thin and decided to agree that all that stuff was great, but still, do I really need a smartphone? (Hey, my cave is a pretty nice place to live by the way!)

My husband and I are usually the last ones to get on the electronic bandwagon for the latest device on the market. We just recently purchased our first flat screen TV. The only reason for that buy was because the TV it replaced was 15 years old and worked only on every odd day of the week. My husband’s motto is “If it still works don’t replace it!”

Every time our friend Vinnie gets a new app he has to show it to us non-users so we know what we are missing. The latest in his long line of acquired apps was one that turned your phone into a magnifying glass accompanied by a flash light. It did come in handy for our geriatric group who strained to read the menu at a dimly lit restaurant recently. Not to mention if I become a coal miner I wouldn’t leave home without it!

I really just want a reliable phone. One that allows me to make a call from the deli counter to ask my husband the all important question, “Swiss or Munster?” Or the ability to text my son three painstaking paragraphs for him to reply only “Yup."

Maybe I will follow my husband’s sage advice and hold off until the one I have dies completely. That will send me running to the local electronics store in a phone-less tizzy! Then I will be forced to make a decision, smart or otherwise. Wish me luck! (Maybe there is app for that?!)