Hillsborough Mom Who Lost Baby Turns Tragedy Into Inspiration

HILLSBOROUGH, NJ — It has been just over five years since Kristen and Sam Lopez lost their 20-month-old boy Ethan. Rocked to core by the horrific tragedy, Lopez is sharing her deepest feelings of grief and her journey to learn from the loss in her book “Lessons From a Rock Star.”

The book was released on May 23, exactly five years from the day of Ethan’s funeral.

Lopez, a Hillsborough local and Bridgewater-Raritan High School graduate, and her husband Sam had been trying for their first baby for many years. However, due to Lopez’s anxiety and depression she encountered miscarriages.

Then in 2010, a miracle happened, Lopez gave birth to Ethan.

“We are a musical family and from the day he was born, he had this black hat that said 'rock' on it. He also had a rock star onesie and loved playing the drums. He was always our little rock star.”

(Photo provided: Ethan Lopez)

Things took a turn for the worse on May 16, 2012. Ethan had a fever which led to a seizure and got out of control.

“We were told that night when we brought him into the emergency room that he had already died,” Lopez told Patch. “But he miraculously came back.

“My husband literally pushed over a nurse and ran back into the room after we were told the news. My husband began yelling at Ethan to come back! He told Ethan ‘You’re a scrapper!’ ‘Come back!’ and in that moment his heart started beating again.”

However, after four days of being in a coma, Ethan was pronounced dead on May 20, 2012.

“The grief process following in the weeks, months, years to come, it was the worst, most terrible pain I’ve ever felt in my life. The pain of losing a child,” Lopez said. “But the way I encountered God was something like I’ve never experienced before up until that day.”

In the week following Ethan’s death, Lopez felt words in her heart that just needed to come out. So she turned to writing a blog over the next three months.

“I didn’t have any expectations when I started it, I just had it inside me and needed to get it out,” Lopez said. “The circles around me of family, friends and all kinds of people came on this journey with me through my blogs. And through my vulnerability of going through the whole process of grief. It was grief filled with hope and grief filled with love and peace. And it ended up impacting many many people.”

Her blog also talked about grieving motherhood since it took so long for Lopez to get pregnant.

"That pain of losing Ethan was just as much pain to lose the motherhood role," Lopez said. "I was at that point in my life, that's what I was born to be. I yearned so bad to be a mom. That was a loss in and of it self. Grieving motherhood," Lopez said.

Lopez remembers journaling entries with the name Zoey and had this knowledge of a little girl to come into their life.

"I held onto the hope of Zoey, even before she was conceived I knew she would be a girl," Lopez said. "I knew she was God's promise to me."

Zoey is now three and half years old and was born in 2013.

(Kristen, Zoey and Sam Lopez.)

Years later, friends and family who followed Lopez’s blog encouraged her to write a book. Lopez wasn’t sure since she had a story but didn’t have a message. Then in March of 2017, Lopez’s husband Sam suggested she put her blog into the book.

“I always knew my blog would be the backbone of the book but I didn’t see it in that way to put it in the book,” Lopez said.

For two months straight, Lopez sat in her bedroom and wrote. Part one of the book is her three-month blog. It consists of 16 chapters of cute memories of Ethan and stories while he was living that she would relate to herself and relate to her faith.

Part two is the message — the lessons she learned from her little rock star, Ethan.

“It is so incredible, these lessons I learned from Ethan. I am a completely different person, I am transformed because of Ethan and God,” Lopez said. “I’ve come to know and realize through my blog that this is not just for me, it’s for anyone out there. Not just people who lose children. It’s for all types of different walks of life who are touched by it. The book speaks of loss of any kind. The loss of control, trust, friends, physical mobility, the will to live… the book is meant to speak into a wide range of people’s lives.”

Lopez’s book “Lessons From A Rockstar” is available on Amazon.

(Images provided)

Photo 1 - "Lessons From A Rock Star" cover photo of Ethan.

Photo 2 - Kristen, Zoey and Sam Lopez.

Photo 3 - Ethan as an infant.

Have a news tip? Email alexis.tarrazi@patch.com.

Get Patch breaking news alerts sent right to your phone with our new app. Download here.