Tilted Kilt: More Than Short Skirts?

I’ve been weirdly anticipating the opening of , because for some reason, up until now, Hoboken has not had a place to ogle scantily dressed ladies while also eating hot wings. I mean, sure, there’s the parade of short skirts weaving in and out of bars on Saturday nights, but they won’t usually let you take photos with them. I’m just kidding, and I thought The Tilted Kilt (a “Scottish Hooters” as I’ve heard it referred to lately) would be a super creepy weirdo place full of drooling old men and girls stuck in sorority-mode, anyway. So I dressed up in my rural librarian best, put the make-up bag away and was all set to stop by the bar and debate gender politics with the manager.

The Tilted Kilt is located at 800 Jackson St., at the foot of the Metrostop condos, which takes forever to walk to from downtown on a chilly day. I arrived with rosy cheeks and snot dripping out of my nose. At the very least, the Kilt is probably a welcome respite for residents living in the no-mans-land of the west end of town. In the past few months, we’ve seen the opening of way downtown, and way uptown. Is this a west-side resurgence?

It was a Friday evening, and the bar/restaurant was busy, with most of the patrons sitting down for dinner. The bar was mostly full with sports fans watching one of the zillion huge television screens around the bar.

“This is actually slow right now,” said Laura, one of the bartenders, which made me wonder how packed this place was going to get in a few hours.

Chris, another bartender, slid over a menu for me to peruse. I wouldn’t be drinking, as I was just getting over a cold, and also with the holidays coming up, I needed my liver to prepare for the gallon jug of wine I would need to get through Thanksgiving with my parents.

The Kilt offers their own signature cocktails, like Tilted Tea (their version of a Long Island) and Montgomery Tea (same deal, only with peach or raspberry liquer), as well as specialty shots (also known as Kilt Bombers), such as the Paddy (vodka and blue curacao dunked into a glass of Red Bull), and the Lunchbox (Southern Comfort and amaretto dropped into a beer and orange juice mix). I don’t know if that last one sounds gross or awesome yet. I may have to try that out one day soon.

Their beer selection is pretty basic, with their own TK Lager, as well as Blue Moon, Budweiser, Coors, Miller, Newcastle and Sam Adams on tap and in bottles. Prices aren’t listed on the menu, but expect to pay about $6 for a pint.

For a decent deal, though, Happy Hour runs Monday through Friday from 3 to 7 p.m., and on the weekends from 11 a.m. to 4 p.m., with $3 domestic beer, $3 wine (something called “Vista Port”) and $3.50 well drinks. On Tuesdays, there’s all-day Happy Hour prices, and Thursday is apparently “Ladies Night.”

Alright, now that we’re about 500-words deep into this review, let’s talk about the female “castmembers,” as the bartenders and servers are called. Their uniform is a tartan bra and tied-up white shirt with a teeny-tiny kilt (although I must also mention that the few male staffers wear long dark kilts). It’s easy to assume The Tilted Kilt would be some horndog sausage-fest with snooty waitresses in skimpy outfits only laying on the thick charm when it might get them a tip. But, the women were all really friendly and helpful, even though I was dressed like Angela Lansbury (my usual) and wasn’t fanning out dollar bills or anything. Do I agree that beautiful women in push-up bras and short skirts be used to lure customers into an establishment? Well, that’s a debate for another day, but it seems to work pretty well for club promoters and Abercrombie & Fitch.

But in all, I would say that my assumptions upon entering the bar weren’t so exact. The Kilt was a friendly and welcoming place, and yes! – there were other female patrons sitting at the bar and having dinner. It’s a cheap option for Happy Hour (and the best bet for Metrostop residents, as I believe the next closest bar is at seven blocks away).

In all, I’ll give The Tilted Kilt seven out of ten frosty mugs, because it’s the new guy on the block, and it may actually bring something fresh to town. Or it could just devolve into the sleaziest place in town. We’ll see! Either way, if you stop by, definitely take advantage of Happy Hour prices, and please try a Kilt Bomber for me.

The Tilted Kilt, 800 Jackson Street; (201) 714-4040, hoboken.tiltedkilt.com