Where to Go, When You Have to Go

Last week, the W hotel on River Street was voted as one of the best public bathrooms in New Jersey, and from what I've seen it's indeed deserving of this distinction.

But where does one go when nature calls and you're not near (or can't make it to) the opulent hotel? Keep reading for other readily available and not-so-public bathrooms around town.

Readers are not required to wash.

W Hotel (225 River Street)

This riverfront hotspot has two lavatories worth visiting. In addition to the one that was recently rated, which is located next to the elevators, there are two unisex loos immediately outside of Zylo. The floors are the same, the walls are beautifully tiled, mix and matching black and all the colors of the rainbow, the toilet is elevated and the sink has nothing underneath it except for its plumbing; and a mirror spans the width of the room.

Lackawanna Train Terminal

Dim lighting, loitering vagrants, and an obnoxious fan makes this one of the less desirable bathrooms, but it does offer the most urinals and stalls. Which means there's never a wait, plus it's always open. Lastly, its proximity to the PATH adds value, as this can be your final late night pit stop before going through the turnstiles.

CVS (59 Washington Street)

A sign on the entrance door claims a public bathroom is available across the street at City Hall, but it's more to deter those waiting in line for Carlo's Bakery from coming inside solely for bladder relief. Once inside follow the white-tiled path towards the pharmacy for a single-use unisex bathroom, tucked away across from the magazine aisle on the back wall. They ask you to clean up after yourself and if the restroom is "in need of attention" to inform a manager. It certainly needed attention as empty rolls of toilet paper were scattered on the floor, a giant fly was buzzing around, and overflowing garbage with an unkempt Koala Kare station were the several infractions at the 24-hour one-stop shop.

City Hall (94 Washington Street)

Through the main entrance, take your first right, then a left and head towards the end of the hallway. There lies a two-urinal, one-stall men's room next door to the all-in-one, single-use Men's / Women's / Public / Handicap restroom. These bathrooms are the epitome of our city's government: a little dirty, needs some work, but available when they're open. There's only one sink and it's communal, located in the hallway.

McDonald's (234 Washington Street)

Their sign says the bathrooms are for customers only, but what if you have to use them before you order that six piece? How can that be monitored? Be careful of freshly mopped floors when entering. Despite its outdated hardware and fixtures, you can't go wrong with the golden arches. 

Garden of Eden (226 Washington Street)

Another customers only restroom, is located upstairs beyond the cashiers, in their dining area. Customers hardly use this room so it was no surprise to see this bathroom in great condition, except for an overflowing garbage can. Perhaps there wasn't any clean up the night before?

Panera Bread (308 Washington Street)

It feels like you're walking the green mile, as the path to the back of this sandwich shop is very long - long enough to get the feeling the employees are giving you the evil eye, knowing you're using them just for their facilities. Except for a few pieces of toilet paper on the floor, this beautifully tiled "man cave" is suitable for relief.

Starbucks (314 Washington Street)

If you can withstand the smell of roasted and burnt coffee, then Starbucks is the preeminent standby for public restrooms. However, like any other place with a single bathroom, and if you have to wait in line, you know who used it before you.

7-Eleven (422 Washington Street)

Don't let the "Employees Only" sign turn you away. If you don't mind doing your business in a bathroom that's also used to store the slop bucket and mop, and bread racks, than go for it. Feel free to light the Glade candle that rests on the sink if the mood strikes.

Dunkin Donuts (700 Washington Street)

Bypass all the diuretics that cause you to use the latrine and make a b-line for the rear. This lone unisex bathroom has new artwork hanging on the walls that really brings life to this room. Just be wary about the broken soap machine, which means hands can't be fully cleaned and sanitized.

Hoboken Business Center (50 Harrison Street)

If you ever find yourself in Hoboken's barren southwest nabe, head to this office park for the most pristine bathrooms. Everything sparkles. Not only are the floors clean enough to eat off, but the bright white lights makes this other office scream sterile, which is the vibe a bathroom should give off.  Plus it offers both paper towels and a hand blower. The former is more sanitary as a hand blower recirculates dirty air and germs.

Port-A-Potties (Pier A Park)

David Zuidema, who supplies this quartet of outdoor comfort stations claims these portable toilets have "25% more space than traditional portable toilets" and all toilets are professionally cleaned once a week. I must have caught them on the cusp of a new week because even though some toilet paper draped over the seat, there was no retched odor and relatively empty.