'Laughs For Recovery' Comedy Benefit Brings Hope, Healing

FORKED RIVER, NY — If laughter is the best medicine, in some cases, it can mean the pathway to a whole new life.

Donna Catlow, the director and founder of the Xodus Recovery Community Center in Forked River, NJ, has a vision — to provide individuals who have been through treatment for addiction and are now in recovery with a safe, sober and welcoming environment.

The center opened in December, 2018 and is deeply personal for Catlow, who has two sons in recovery. Services are free, with the help of the fundraising benefits Catlow organizes to defray costs.

To that end, the upcoming "Laughs for Recovery Comedy Benefit," takes place on Friday, Sept. 20; doors open at 6 p.m. with the show kicking off at 7 p.m. The event will be held at the Lanoka Harbor Firehouse, located at 2 Warren Ave. in Lanoka, NJ. Hot dogs, pizza and beverages will be served. Tickets cost $25 each or $175 for a table of 8. To purchase tickets, click here.

The show features headliner Richie Byrne, a comedian who keeps audiences laughing with his warmup at “The Dr. Oz Show"; Byrne is a veteran of stand-up, stage and screen, sporting a long string of A-list comedy, stage and screen credits. The show also features comedians Mike Calcagno, Tony Luke, Jr. and host Joel Richardson.

Xodus, Catlow said, serves a critical need, a continuing care center that acts as bridge for those in recovery, a place where they can just come and relax, bring family members, and also, avail themselves of workshops in areas including nutrition, job training, and education.

"We offer recovery planning," Catlow said. "Everyone needs to have a plan to move on in life — everyone, not just people in recovery."

In addition, she added: "We believe in all pathways to recovery." The center, she said, offers an "all recovery meeting," open for anyone to attend. The meeting is not a 12-step meeting, AA or NA, she said, because not everyone feels comfortable with those programs.

Instead, all recovery pathways are respected, whether they be a 12-step program, a spiritual path, a medically assisted treatment program, or abstinence, she said.

"Our goal is to help eliminate the adverse impact of addiction on families and to promote the healing, wholeness and well-being of all involved in our community," she said. Also offered is "Reflections," a virtual group meeting that is a devotional. Xodus, Catlow said, is a mission of the Lacey United Methodist Church in NJ, so a spiritual group is also offered.

Life skill workshops are available on topics including resume writing, interview tips, and "pretty much anything you need, to restart your life," Catlow said.

For Catlow, the center was born from a mother's dream, the vision of a lifetime of recovery for her beloved boys.

Catlow has two sons, Joel, 33, and Shane, 31; Joel has been in recovery for eight years and Shane, for almost four, she said.

"They started using drugs when they were young," Catlow said. "Joel got into a lot of trouble; he was arrested 11 times for drug paraphernalia — it was never anything other than drugs. He started his recovery journey eight years ago and got involved right away with advocacy work and community service."

Joel, she said, is doing "amazingly well." Joel is married with a baby daughter and with his own business; he is the founder and CEO of Mainstream Recovery in NJ. He serves as a consultant to townships and police departments as a state-certified peer recovery specialist.

Shane is also doing well, working as a certified peer recovery specialist and certified in yoga.

"I'm so proud of my sons. They're really good today because of their journey," she said.

Her sons, however, were not always on such a bright and promising path. When they were mired in the throes of addiction, she said, they "used everything, from marijuana up to heroin." Watching her sons' struggle was devastating, Catlow said.

"It was heart-wrenching. You just never know when you are going to get that phone call — whether they are in jail, or if they've overdosed," she said.

During the days when her sons were battling their demons, the resources to help weren't as readily available as they are today.

"I didn't know where to turn," Catlow said. "I knew nothing about addiction. Everywhere I did turn, I got the door shut in my face. There was just no help out there. And so I got involved in my own advocacy work."

Catlow has worked tirelessly for change since 2013. "This is my passion," she said. "We all have a voice. And if we don't use our voice, nothing is going to change. I try to be that voice."

Knowing that her sons are alive and well, Catlow feels incredibly blessed. "I have people speaking at events who have lost their children. Why did I get to be so lucky? I thank God that I am. There are so many people that I know who have lost their kids — it's heartbreaking."

And so, Catlow perseveres, a mom on a mission for change. The upcoming comedy show, she said, is her fifth with Richardson. "Laughter is the best medicine. People in recovery need to be going to events and socializing with others in recovery, with no alcohol around. That's one of the biggest reasons we chose comedy — you can just come, and hang out, have fun, and laugh."

(Courtesy Donna Catlow)

Richardson said the night is also deeply rewarding: "My company produces over 200 shows per year, half of which help raise money for various organizations, sports teams and non profits. I've been working with Donna Catlow now for over 7 years to help raise money for Young People in Recovery and this year, benefiting the Xodus Recovery Community Center. The crowds are always the best crowds and most supportive," he said. "I'm already looking forward to a fun night filled with laughter. I'm hoping to see some new faces mixed in with our regulars that come out every year."

Comedy can change lives, Byrne agreed. "Laughter can be used to help foster healing, especially for those in recovery. No matter what challenges someone has faced, if they can come into a room for a few hours and laugh, there is hope," he said.

Catlow has a message for other parents who might see their children struggling. "The most important thing you can do for yourself or for a family member is to become involved with advocacy work. Community service, and self-care, are so important, as is the gathering of like-minded people. eople do recover — it's important that people know that. Recovery is possible."