Happy and Healthy Parenting: The Benefit of the Anti-Helicopter Parent

A few weeks ago, the New York Times published an article by Pamela Druckerman, “How to Be a Happy Parent.” I read this article through the lens of my profession a marital and family therapist.

The first fact that I was amazed to learn is that “helicopter parenting” is a global phenomenon.

In my practice, I see many parents who are overly worried about their child’s well being present and future. As a result, their children, when not in school or at an organized activity or at a play date, are very rarely out of sight of the parent(s). This overprotectiveness continues through college as both child and parent feel the need to talk, which can be as often 5 to 6 times a day. There is also a growing trend for parents to relocate to their child’s college town to provide support.

When do children learn to stretch their wings?

How do children achieve independence?

Most importantly, how (and when) do children learn that they are not the center of the universe?

However, I don’t agree with author Pamela Druckerman that it’s not bad for children to have “helicopter parents.” I think it’s unhealthy for the family, especially for the mom. According to recent statistics, college educated mothers spend an average of 9 or more hours a week on children’s activities – which consists of taking the children to practices, lessons etc.

Since a vast majority of mothers work, they tend to use this extra childcare time from their own limited free time or time with their spouse. In households with more than one child, parents need to split up on weekends to take their children to their activities.

Weary couples wonder why they are growing apart.

When they need to rekindle their relationship, where does the time or energy come from?

I believe that a happy, emotionally close couple is a good model for children and provides a strong foundation for the family.

Children need to see that parents take some time for themselves as individuals a well as a couple. Healthy families encourage every member of the family to have some free time, which can be to follow individual dreams, to develop imagination, to dawdle and daydream.

Helicopter parenting can certainly take a toll on the parents in addition to the family as a whole. Encouraging independence for children in an age appropriate manner can lead to more free time for that helicopter parent, which is a good thing.

Mediation and Therapy Associates specializes in helping you create a fulfilling life. We help you identify goals and develop skills to establish rewarding relationships with partners/spouses, your children, extended family and community. For more information, please go to http://www.mediationandtherapyassociates.com.