Manchester Woman, 101, Finds Joy In Caregiver Volunteers Role

MANCHESTER, NJ — Connie Cicora greets every day with the same thought.

“As soon as I open my eyes I’m thankful that I’m living,” she said. And then she goes about the business of enjoying the day — one of nearly 37,000 days she’s been alive.

Cicora, who turned 101 in December, said that is what has led to such a long and healthy life: enjoying whatever she is doing, whether it’s folding clothing or listening to an opera.

"Enjoy whatever you are doing," she said. "Just enjoy living."

Cicora, who lives in the SilverWoods independent senior living facility in Manchester, has recently found something new to enjoy — volunteering with Caregiver Volunteers of Central Jersey. She is the organization's oldest volunteer.

Caregiver Volunteers of Central Jersey matches volunteers with older residents, veterans and those with disabilities, providing them with companionship, assistance and connection to help them feel less isolated as well as meet basic needs, such as getting to medical appointments or grocery shopping. It also provides respite for people who are taking care of family members with Alzheimer’s disease or dementia.

It is based in Toms River but serves more than 2,000 residents in Ocean and Monmouth counties who are age 60 or older and cannot drive, said Dena Glynn, director of outreach and community relations.

Cicora volunteers with the Connect Thru Music program, which is part of the Alzheimer’s and dementia respite program, said Francine Pannella, the director of caregiver support, who created the Connect thru Music program.

The program was inspired by the documentary “Alive Inside,” which showed how music has the ability to connect someone who has dementia or Alzheimer’s with memories and create a sense of peace and happiness.

Usually it’s a younger person connecting with an elder, Pannella said, but Cicora was a special case. She is someone who has always been busy, whether it was working as a clerk-typist for the city of Newark and working as a waitress at various country clubs on the side or any of a number of activities. The pandemic limited much of that, however, and left Cicora a bit at loose ends.

“I’d work now, but nobody would hire someone old like me,” Cicora said Tuesday during a Zoom interview with Patch.

In December, Pannella said, a family contacted Caregiver Volunteers looking for someone to provide some respite care for their mother, who was in her 80s and struggling with dementia. There was one catch: The person had to speak Italian.

“At first we didn't have anybody,” Pannella said. And then she remembered her mother was born in Italy and still spoke some Italian.

Her mother — Connie Cicora — had been ill in December, but as she started to feel better, “she realized she still had some purpose in life,” Pannella said. She asked her mother if she was interested in volunteering, and Cicora said yes without hesitation.

“We've already had one visit and the connection with them was unbelievable,” Pannella said via Zoom.

Cicora said she is learning at the same time she is helping the other woman.

“Years ago we were told not to speak any language but English,” she said, noting she was born in a small town on the Adriatic Sea but came to the United States when she was 7½ years old.

“I'm learning a little more of the Italian (now) because it's needed,” Cicora said.

During the visit, she played Italian songs she thought the woman would recognize, and the woman lit right up. They talked about where they were from in Italy and about what they had in common and looked over old photos from the woman’s life.

“The mother danced with her and sang. The joy she (Cicora) brought for that one hour was amazing,” Pannella said. A member of the Caregiver Volunteers staff usually accompanies volunteers on their first visit with a new client so everyone can meet and to ensure the connection is a good fit.

“Of course, I had to go anyway because Mom doesn’t drive,” Pannella said. But everyone was happy with the result.

“The woman’s son and husband were just thrilled,” Pannella said. “They can't wait for her to come back.”

Glynn said one of the aspects of Caregiver Volunteers is that it doesn’t set a specific commitment for volunteers. Whether they are only able to give an hour a month to pick up groceries or want to commit to weekly or more-frequent visits, there is something for everyone who wants to help out.

Some volunteers give 15 minutes a month, others give far more.

“We had one volunteer giving 50 hours a week, getting people to vaccine appointments,” Glynn said. And “We did a lot of online grocery shopping.”

Most of their volunteers come through local church organizations — Caregiver Volunteers is an interfaith organization — and many of them are 55 or older, Glynn said. The pandemic hurt volunteer recruitment, however, because so many of the church organizations shut down group events. But a new executive director helped Caregiver Volunteers get its digital and technology presence up to speed, and that has helped, Glynn said.

They are always glad to welcome new volunteers, she said, with the biggest need continuing to be people who are willing to assist with grocery shopping.

Cicora is set to have another get-together with the woman she was matched with soon.

“I want to start off with a couple of Italian songs and maybe get her a little happier,” Cicora said.

“That's how we do the program,” Pannella said. “If they have the right song and right photos, it helps stir the memories.”

Cicora has four daughters, nine grandchildren and nine great-grandchildren, and Pannella said the family hopes to get together to celebrate her birthday, albeit late, once the pandemic risks settle down. She was honored on her 100th with a proclamation from then-Mayor Kenneth Palmer, but for her 101st, plans were postponed.

"Maybe in the spring," Pannella said.

Cicora said she’s had a wide range of interests in her life. She loves music, particularly classics and opera. She used to sew and crochet, and traveled some when she was able to save the money to do it.

“Now I like to be sociable,” she said. While she has her own apartment at Silverwoods, dinner is served in a common area and the residents come together for that. There are games before and after as well.

“I come here early,” Cicora said. “I spend maybe seven or eight hours here, between dinner and after-dinner games.”

Silverwoods had shut down the common areas during the recent omicron surge of COVID-19 illnesses, so they started offering bingo games by Zoom. Cicora joined by iPad.

“I finally got on,” Cicora said, “I was so amazed. It’s a really great way to talk to people, because you can see them when you’re talking to them.”

She has a not-so-secret pleasure: playing the slot machines in Atlantic City. That, too, has been off-limits because of the pandemic.

“I love those crazy machines,” Cicora said. Her iPad her access. “I also do those crazy games on my iPad.” But the outcome is better because she’s not spending money like she would be in the casinos, she said with a laugh.

The changes in technology in her 101 years have been what has amazed her most, she said.

“It's so wonderful that the children can learn so much from the technology,” Cicora said. “It's wonderful to see them learning.”

And that was her other piece of advice for living a long, happy life.

“Get started doing something. You never know how much you will be happy doing it,” Cicora said.

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