One Dark Moment: Marine's Suicide Story Hits Hard In Essex County

The important lesson to take away from the death of U.S. Marine Scott Wenger is simple… he was a happy person who had a dark moment.

And that’s why his suicide hits so close to home.

A few years ago, the former South Orange resident returned from his second tour in Iraq, where he served as an amphibious assault crewman and participated in the First Battle of Fallujah. Along with his brother, Scott chose to relocate back to Cleveland, the place he grew up.

There he bought a home and was apparently living the American Dream, his brother, Rob Wenger, told Patch.

“He was looking into buying a second house,” Wenger said. “He had his dream car… a girlfriend… a motorcycle.”

He had even bought an e-cigarette in an effort to help himself quit smoking, his brother said.

And then came his surprising suicide in May.

“This wasn’t a planned event,” Rob emphasized. “Scott had a heart of gold. He never feared anything. He loved his country, and thought that the least he could do was go and protect his fellow Americans.”

“But Scott found a dark moment,” he added, his voice lowering. “Late one night it surfaced. And that was it.”

PTSD AND SOLDIER SUICIDE

Emily Konopinski, a Maplewood Lions Club member and a U.S. Air Force veteran whose husband was Scott’s friend, said that the sports fanatic – a regular at Roman Gourmet in Maplewood - could always be found helping out others and making people smile.

“Yet, while Scott was busy making everyone around him happy, he - like so many veterans - was quietly suffering,” Konopinski said.

“[Scott] suffered from PTSD,” Rob Wenger told Patch. “But it’s important to remember that at the end of the day, PTSD can be suffered in many ways, shapes and forms. And it’s very easy to hide it.”

Wenger theorized that this may have been one reason that his brother didn’t show signs of depression.

“The military motto seems to be, ‘Hey, shut your mouth,’” Wenger said. “These kids are taught to be introverted and to keep their feelings to themselves. But the numbers are staggering as to what happens without that conversation.”

According to Stop Soldier Suicide, a civilian-led nonprofit dedicated to preventing active-duty and veteran suicide, more than 22 U.S. military veterans and one active-duty service member take their own lives each day.

In fact, more soldiers died from suicide than from actual combat deaths in 2012 and 2013, USA Today reported.

According to the group, some veteran suicide warning signs may include:

• Feeling you don’t belong or are a burden
• Significant relationship, financial, medical or work-related problems
• Current or pending disciplinary or legal action
• Substance abuse
• Problems with a major life transition such as retirement, discharge, divorce, etc.
• Loss of a fellow soldier or veteran friend
• Isolating yourself from friends and family

IN HONOR OF SCOTT

The Lions Club of Maplewood decided that since Scott was an avid runner, their upcoming “Maplewood in Motion” 5K run would be a way to honor his memory while also bringing much needed awareness to the community about the issue of veteran suicide, Konopinski told Patch.

“Scott’s family held his services in Cleveland, and dozens of friends from the area made the trip to Ohio to be there for his family,” Konopinski said. “However, many local people were unable to show their support that day, and perhaps the race will be a way for the community to come together, celebrate his life and help make the change to save the next life.”

In Scott’s memory, Stop Soldier Suicide will become one of the charities that receive donations from the Lions Club’s annual 5K fundraising run this year, Konopinski said.

The race will take place at 9 a.m. on Sunday, Oct. 18.

Registration, fee and other race information is available online here.

Photo of Scott Wenger via Stop Soldier Suicide