A Singing Lesson: If You Can Speak, You Can Sing!

It's as simple as this: Singing is an extension of speaking. The difference between speaking and singing is---when you sing you hold out the vowel sounds; when you speak you don't.

Because music means so much to me, I feel sad when someone tells me she always wanted to sing but never could. When I hear that, I suspect that growing up some early judgment by others created a belief that she couldn't sing. I have taught singing for over 35 years, and I truly believe that if a person did not have an inborn ability to sing, she would not even develop the desire to do so.  By example, here is a true story.

Years ago, a 57 year old woman from Englewood came to see me about singing lessons.  She said that all her life she had wanted to sing, but didn't dare.  As a little girl her mother wouldn't let her sing in the house and told Sherry she sounded  terrible.  And, a cousin with whom Sherry was very close would make nasty faces at her when she sang and told her she shouldn't sing because she sounded terrible and she embarrassed her.

At our first meeting, Sherry named a song she liked. I began to play the piano, she began to sing...then I began to cry....because I had never heard such a beautiful voice come out of a person who had never used her gift. It was an incredible moment. She finished the song and we both began to cry. I told her she sounded beautiful, and that I, who had spent my whole life as a professional singer, thought she had a better voice than mine.

Sherry was a psychotherapist. Looking back, she finally saw that her mentally ill and abusive mother was jealous of her beautiful voice, and so, forbid her to sing in the house. And when she was with the cousin she looked up to, her cousin was also jealous because she couldn't carry a tune and didn't want Sherry to either.  With two people crushing her love of singing and betraying her from an early age, she had come to believe that her singing wasn't good enough for anyone to listen to. However, the desire never left her, and it was very strong when she happened to ask a musician I knew where she could find a voice teacher.

From then on, Sherry and I met weekly for singing lessons, and socially in between. We had a lot in common, both working with people emotionally broken,  (I, a clinical hypnotherapist) and  both singers. We became best friends, and she continued to amaze me with her Peggy Lee singing style and gorgeous voice. I encouraged her to sing in public because she, like I, was not getting any younger! I told her it would be tragic if she were to die with the music in her. 

I created some opportunities for her to sing with a band, her confidence grew, and she overcame her performance anxiety. Sherry went into Manhattan quite regularly to sing at a classy karaoke club, and in no time, in my eyes she was a pro. But then...she was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. 

She had a good run of 3 years doing what she loved...and then...she was gone.  I am so thankful that we met and that I could facilitate her singing... and that she did not die with the music in her.

Thank you for reading.

Musically yours,

Rosemary Conte