Mom of Five Also Juggles Labor-Intensive Job as Midwife

SHE’S ALL THAT: Sabine LaBonne

Find out how Sabine Labonne balances the labor-intensive job of being a midwife (couldn’t resist, sorry) with raising her own five children as a single mom.

Meet Sabine LaBonne, a single mom to five children, dedicated midwife, and Sunday school sex-ed teacher. Read on to find out how she does it, and some behind-the-scenes information about what being a midwife is really like.

MOVED TO MONTCLAIR: We moved here about eight years ago, by way of DC and the UK.

KIDS: Oldest son: Junior at Boston Conservatory, earning BFA in Musical Theater; son, 19, figuring out what he wants to do with his life while playing in a band and delivering Tinga; daughter, 16, sophomore at Montclair High School, responsible, learning to drive, doing photography; daughter, 14, 8th grade, Glenfield, great singer, competitive Iris Dancer since 1st grade; son, 10, Hillside, 4th grade, plays piano, guitar, fencing.

PETS: We have a bearded dragon lizard. It’s actually really cute. She’s easy to take care of, but sometimes doesn’t eat for days, and then we’re all like OOPS, did anyone feed her, but she hangs on. The kids are begging me for a dog, but you can’t really do that with a dog. 

WORK: I am a Certified Professional Midwife (www.seventhmoonhomebirth.com). I have a partner, and we have offices in Montclair and in Montvale and have clients in New Jersey and New York. We are full service—we want it to be as smooth as possible for women to get continuity of care before, during, and after birth with out having to run around. We see patients in the office, do all the lab work, blood work, write prescriptions, etc. Our practice is for low-risk mothers and babies—if a woman has issues that out of our scope, then they can’t stay in our practice. They have to be safe to stay home, although we also work with collaborative physicians who do things like ultrasounds. We do home visits starting at 36 weeks, and the birth at 24 hours, at day 4 and at day 5. Sometimes, we’ll also go for a 2-week home visit, and then at 6 weeks, they come back to the office.  

THE WORK/LIFE BALANCE: Balance? Between office hours and home visits, we’re running around every day of the week. When we have a birth, we can be at the home for three days. I missed my daughters 16th birthday because I was at a birth. I was crying at the birth remembering that I was doing the same thing 16 years ago. Even deciding when to get tickets for a show is a big deal for me, as I never know if I might have to leave. This summer we’re going away for a week; I picked the week that was least likely for someone to have a baby. Making doctors appointments is stressful as they want 24 hours notice for cancellations and I can’t always do that.

WHY I BECAME A MIDWIFE: In 1999 when I attended the birth of one of my best friend’s babies. The doctor kept leaving and insisting that she’d have to have an epidural, which she didn’t want, and then he left to go schedule a C-section, which she also didn’t want, and she had the baby when he was out of the room! I realized women know how to have babies.  Women tend to get their power taken from them in hospital, and I just don’t think it’s the way babies should be born. So to birth my now 10-year-old, I had a water birth at home with a midwife, who inspired me to go to midwifery school.

PERSONAL INDULGENCE: I get a pretty regular massage. I was going every 5-6 weeks, but I’ve been too busy to go lately.

VOLUNTEER: I just can’t commit to regularly volunteering at school. I go to parties and events whenever I can. I was told if I became a midwife, I wouldn’t be able to volunteer at school. It’s true. But, we go to the Unitarian Universalist Congregation, and they have a religious education program. I teach the sexuality class. It’s appropriately comprehensive for each age group. I taught first and second graders this year and will teach fourth and fifth graders next year.

EXERCISE ROUTINE: In my previous life I was a professional ballet dancer so my need to use my body is not optional. I do weights and treadmill twice a week, and also do Pilates. My goal is to get back into ballet one day.

BIGGEST CHALLENGE: Balance, so that there’s enough of me to go around for my children and to find time for myself and maybe sit on my purple aidorandock chair and watch the world go by for 10 minutes. Especially now that I’m a single mom, it’s even harder to find time to do things that I enjoy.

WHAT GIVES: I’m looking at it. I’m living in a smaller place than I’ve lived in in years, so I had to get rid of all my big furniture and am now trying to furnish this house.  I can’t clear off my porch. I bought a shelving unit and there it sits in its wrapping.

WHAT YOU’RE READING: The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. Before that I finished The Bell Jar. Very uplifting.

PET PEEVE: Probably call waiting. If I’m on my home phone and it clicks in, I don’t answer it. I know if it’s important, they’ll call my cell. We have so many ways to be contacted, I just don’t thing we need to constantly interrupt conversations.

BIGGEST HELPER: My partner at work, Vicki, is always there when I need her. She’s extraordinary that way. I know I can count on her for anything.  

HOW YOU GET DINNER ON THE TABLE DURING THE WEEK: It’s actually become easier without my ex-husband, who was focused on the dinner. I shop on Sundays and I usually cook dinner three nights a week and on the weekends. I make tortellini, salad, burritos, turkey burgers and veggie burgers a lot—things that are healthy, quick and easy.  Sometimes we have deli night and make big sandwiches. When I do my Sunday shopping, I also get things that the older kids can make easily in case I’m not going to be here—Amy’s natural food company makes healthy organic frozen meals and we have a freezer full of those for emergencies. I just have to remind them to make sure their little brother eats too!

FAVORITE RESTAURANT FOR DELIVERY: Every Friday we get pizza from Nauna’s. 

KIDS’ FAVORITE RESTAURANT: Tinga, Nauna’s, and Marzullo’s. 

FAVORITE NIGHT OUT WITHOUT KIDS: I don’t go out very often, but once in a while I’ll go out with friends from the congregation for dinner and drinks. I also have a friend with a beach house, and I’ll go there with a circle of women and I get all my nurturing and it’s very rejuvenating.

FAVORITE MTC STORE: Urban Outfitters and all the stores on Church Street, and I buy earrings at Blu Lotus.

FAVORITE MTC ACTIVITY/DESTINATION: Going to the movies, and what I really would enjoy is sitting on Church Street when they have the outdoor music.

WHAT YOU WISH YOU COULD CHANGE: The taxes and the no parking on the street thing. I don’t understand that.

WHAT YOU LOVE ABOUT MONTCLAIR: When we first moved here I immediately felt it was a place that supported the arts, and that is very important to my family. And I love the diversity. We lived in Washington DC and there are pockets of Hispanic, pockets of White, pockets of Black—when we put the kids in school here we were thrilled. And being this close to the city. It’s a perfect place for us. My children are New Yorkers. It doesn’t matter that they’ve never lived there; they’re there so much.

ADVICE FOR OTHER BUSY MOMS: I work to create specific moments where I walk up to each kid—especially since the divorce—and look them in the eye and say how are you, tell me what’s gong on. We have very open communication and everyone says what them mean. We also try to sit down at the table once a week for dinner. When I was married, there was the stress of having to do it every night. Everyone was starving and couldn’t get up from the table fast enough. Once a week works for us—everyone thinks it has to be every night, but it doesn’t.