A Letter To Moorestown Council Candidates, From ... Their Mother?

To The Editor:

Hello. I'm your mother. Remember me? I don't think you do, because you never call me.

How's that son of yours, my friends ask. How should I know? The only time I hear his voice is on his voicemail. (You sound tired. Are you getting enough sleep?)

I'm writing because I had some distressing news today from your Uncle Sam.

I was adding fresh cranberries to an apple pie and about to pop it into the oven when he called.

"Sister," he said, "it pains me to report that the Moorestown Township Council candidates probably won't have a debate before the November election."

The news was so jolting that I spilled the cranberries and watched them bounce merrily around the kitchen floor.

"Fiddlesticks!"

"Indeed," Sam said. "The Democrats want a League of Women Voters' moderator, but the Republicans claim bias and want Ethics Committee members to moderate.

"The League of Women Voters! Biased! Why, that's like calling your mother a ... a ..." I stammered, searching for an appropriate descriptor, "a streetwalker!"

Sam tried to explain why some candidates might want to dodge a debate.

"Let's say you're well known around town, an incumbent for instance. Your name recognition is yuuge."
"Wait," I interrupted. "Did you just say yuuge?"

"I said ‘huge.’ Name recognition is a huge advantage in any election. Why squander it by sharing a stage with lesser-known rivals? They need the publicity and the platform much more than you do. So you stall and invent excuses, figuring to keep voters in the dark and ride name recognition to victory."

"Disgusting," I cried.

"Indeed," Sam sighed, then rang off.

Angry and despairing, I shut off the oven. Pies no longer seemed important. I sat down at the counter, dropped my chin in my hands, and watched the fresh apple slices turning brown.

I thought about how we used to work out family problems: We'd all sit down at the kitchen table and talk them through. And I imagined what I'd say to the Moorestown Council candidates if they were sitting in the kitchen with me.

First off, I'd thank them for their willingness to serve their community. Credit where it's due, after all.

Then, I'd point out that democracy is a living thing, like a fruit tree. It needs lots of light and the constant attention of an engaged and informed citizenry to keep it healthy and bearing fruit.

You all are committed to a healthy democracy, I'd say. Otherwise you wouldn't be running for office. Do candidate debates shed light? Encourage civic engagement? Inform the citizenry? See what I'm getting at here? If you're genuinely committed to your community and to the democratic process, then you'll hold a debate.

Formats and moderators matter little. What really matters is that you all stand together in front of your fellow citizens. Articulate your positions. Defend them vigorously. Challenge opponents forcefully. Avoid the vitriol and vulgarity we've witnessed in this year's presidential debates. Treat opponents not like enemies, but like neighbors you're likely to meet over a basket of apples at the farm stand.

Sure, you could keep dodging. Truth is, most people probably wouldn't even notice. Maybe you'd win. But that wouldn't make it right. It would be like promising your son a homemade apple pie (which you're happy to bake for him, even though he never calls) and delivering store-bought. It's not cheating exactly, but it's not right.

And, if praise, preaching, and lectures failed to sway them, I'd flat-out beg. Please schedule a debate, I'd plead. There's still time. Do your duty and everybody wins. Do it for Mom and apple pie. Do it for Uncle Sam and democracy. Do it for Moorestown.

That's what I'd say to candidates for Moorestown Township Council if they were sitting here with me in the kitchen. Then I'd offer them coffee and a slice of pie.

Well, I've got to go. Those cranberries won't sweep themselves up off floor.

Sincerely,

Your Mother*

*As told to Paul Conlow