Bumping into Walls

Bumping into walls…

Of resistance, that is. Sometimes you feel like you just can’t get anywhere.

Recently I was sitting here thinking about a class I’m putting together. I was making the topic very broad. I was trying to make it very purposeful, chock-full of information, cover every angle, leap over every possible problem and solve everything in one single bound (or small e-class). Oh, and make it a lot of fun, too. Super Teacher! Well, I just tripped over my cape and hit my head on a wall of resistance.

Bumping into walls of resistance hurts!

Hell’s bells! I wouldn't want to be in that class! I’d be overwhelmed, drowning in facts and ideas. Too much!!! Too BiG!!! BaM! Hitting the wall.

Do you know that feeling?

I start to feel uncomfortable.

Resistance shows up. I feel overwhelmed. I resort to self-soothing activities (snacking, organizing email, cleaning off my desk, computer games, figuring out what to have for dinner). Are you familiar with your self-soothing gig?

And then, as so often happens, within a day or so, my daily quote from Abraham-Hicks talks to me about resistance: “If you have a subject that makes you uncomfortable when you think about it, it means there is strong desire related to it. Which means it really, really, really matters. So finding a way to think about it and feel good is your work.”

Oh. Okay. I felt a little shift in me. I get it that the stronger the resistance the more important it is to me. Somehow this makes me feel better. The task at hand is something deeper than picking a movie to watch or a meal to prepare (although I must say I am very resistant to meal planning lately. Just tell me what you want!!!)

How do I get over or through that wall?

Since we can usually drill down and find fear or anxiety lolling at the bottom of the wall we need a way to stay below their radar. A sort of “trompe” the brain. Small steps and small questions are always a great answer. Tiny, tiny steps. Can you just visualize your tiny step tip toeing along? Checking that fear is looking the other way. Maybe giggling to itself in delight as it makes its way. Hee Hee! Fooled ya!

Another ideas is our Kaizen-Muse Creativity Coaching™ tool of I GET TO™. “I get to create a really cool E-class that can touch lots of people and inspire them with the magic and power of words. Doesn't that sound so much better than “ooh, I have to learn how to do this and I have a deadline…”? It’s just a choice of words but it makes a huge difference. It creates excitement and anticipation instead of anxiety. See, words really are powerful and magical!

Also, giving yourself permission to move forward when the way is not crystal clear; a sense of opening up and allowing. Expecting that there will be sign posts along the way. And knowing that expectations are usually met (even if they’re negative, so be clear in your expectations!)

What are some ways that resistance show up for you? How do you get through it? Here are some of the walls that I put up along with some ideas to reframe my response.

• TYPICAL RESPONSE: The need to move from A to B to C. Having all my ducks in a row before I start. Very linear. Create a process; have a plan. Get caught up in the plan and never get to the execution. A toxic blend of fear and perfectionism. NEW RESPONSE: Reminding myself that I always know my next step. Whenever I do this the dang step shows up immediately! Trusting that my divine connection won’t steer me wrong as long as I’m listening.
• TYPICAL RESPONSE: Going on a quest for more information before I start. Just one more book or one more class or just let me do a little more research on that. NEW RESPONSE: Take the first small step. I can only put on so many tubes and so much sunscreen before I venture into the water. As Julia Cameron says “Jump and the net will appear”. More of that trust needed here.
• TYPICAL RESPONSE: Unrealistic expectations. I find it so difficult to be a beginner. But, to get anywhere new I must start. And starting means being a beginner. NEW RESPONSE: Permission to be a beginner. Enjoy the child-like wonder of new experiences. Remember that only I know how beginner-ish I am; it’s more in my head than on other’s minds.
• TYPICAL RESPONSE: Putting conditions, sometimes unpractical conditions on a dream. When I get ____ I will ________. If this, then that. The blank could be an age, a bank balance, another credential, when the kids grow up, when I retire, when I can quit my job… you know how it goes. You know what conditions you set. NEW RESPONSE: Adopt Nike’s slogan – “JUST DO IT!” When I think it’s too late, or I need to save more or get another certification, reminding myself time will pass regardless. I can add value and forward movement to the time or just watch it pass. My choice.

Back to the E-class. I narrowed my focus. Several times. My tendency to get big and cover everything in one small class got reined in. Since my class will be 1 in a bundle of 10 I am committed to others to do the class so, beginner or not, I am learning the ropes and will get it done. I am allowing the class to evolve in my head, using a mind map, getting out of linear mode. I’ve given myself permission to make it fun, getting out of nerd mode. Only I (and now you) know that I haven’t done this type of class before but that’s okay. It will be fun and create a lasting experience for the student.

Since we’re talking about it would you like to find out more? Click here or on the Genuine You image on my homepage. The class is a treasure trove of personal growth classes, a total of 10 that can be completed at your own pace. My class is “The Magic and Power of Words”. The cost, for all 10, is $87, an amazing value for all that you will get. The classes start in September and will be available for one year. (In the spirit of full disclosure please know that if you register through my site I will get a percentage of your tuition.) I hope you will check it out and I hope I will “see” you there!

Leave a comment below about how you handle resistance. I’d love to hear your thoughts.