The Air Force, Roller Derby, and Finding My Extended Family

When I decided to enlist in the armed forces, I chose the United States Air Force because my father had been in the Air Force in Vietnam and both of my grandfathers had been career Air Force (they’d started as Army Air Force during WWII but then stayed in as the Air Force became a separate entity). I happened to join up at the tail end of Desert Storm and did a stint in the sandbox, making me a 3rd generation USAF war vet.

I didn’t really love being in the military, and looking back, joining up probably wasn’t the best decision I ever made. I’m not particularly well-suited mentally to the structure of the military, I hated my job (driving buses, tractor trailers, etc. -- I used to tell people I was a “ground pilot”), and when I signed up the US military was still smack in the middle of the Tailhook era so being an active duty enlisted woman -- especially in the career field I was assigned to -- was no day at the park. To be fair, I joined the military for all the wrong reasons: I was trying to get out of an abusive relationship, I had a dead-end job, I had no money for college...and I joined looking for the USAF to be the solution to all of those problems.

What I did find in the military was a tremendous sense of family. No matter what petty squabbles happened, no matter what my personal relationship was with someone, we were all family and we had each other's backs. When my abusive ex sent me a letter a few months after I arrived on my base in California, my commander coordinated with the security squadron to have his picture posted at the gates and entry denied unequivocally, even though he had a brother in the military who could have normally gained admittance to the base. When I was medevaced out of Dhahran and got stranded at a base 5 hours north of home, a sergeant hopped in a car and drove up to get me instead of making me sit there for a week waiting for a plane. When one of our guys went off-roading and went into a sinkhole, a bunch of us went out to winch him back up out of the mud (and then later added the word “sinks” to his Chevy slogan “Like a Rock” windshield sticker). I have dozens more stories like this: little things that made it clear I’d joined a big extended family.

There is a lot I don’t miss about being in the military, but I have always missed that sense of extended family. I have finally found it again in Jerzey Derby Brigade (and to some degree in the roller derby world at large as well). But it’s even better, because this isn’t a group I have to be a part of... this is a group I chose, and that somehow chose me as well. I feel so lucky to have found and been unhesitatingly welcomed by this amazing group of people who are strong, smart, funny, talented, kind, and just all around delightful. When we cheer, “Whose house is this?” “OUR HOUSE!” I sometimes tear up a little bit because it hits me so hard that I get to be a part of this wonderful family.