Prom Weekend Means Sex, Drugs and Alcohol, Resident Warns

I am writing to inform parents and the community at large of a very serious problem that potentially impacts all of our children: the sex, drug and alcohol-fueled parties that occur after prom in some New Jersey communities.

While not limited to any one town, Seaside Heights hotels in particular are similar to a modern-day Sodom and Gomorrah the weekends after high school proms. We, the loving and caring parents of our children, are allowing disgusting, vile behavior to occur with our implicit (and sometimes explicit) approval. These weekends are widely known by our children as free-for-all orgies, with no parental presence, where anyone can have as much sex, drugs and alcohol as he or she desires. 

Worst of all, these are highly anticipated weekends for predators, who anticipate the arrival of drunk and drugged high school kids they see as being ripe for the picking. These predators know what hotel hosts which high school weekend after weekend, and they are there, waiting to pounce. Predators know how to get into these hotels despite “needing a wrist band.” (Great security by the way, a wrist band.) These predators also wait outside of the hotels and regale our kids with stories of their fame and fortune and these naive and drug-and-alcohol compromised young adults welcome these predators with open arms. Then they frequently have consensual sex with them. 

Shame on Seaside Heights for allowing this to take place. Shame on any other prom weekend town host. But, most of all, shame on us parents and anyone else who knows this is going on and continues to allow it. 

I’m sure everyone thinks, “Well, maybe this is a problem, but not for my kid.” But I suggest this is a naïve, uninformed thought.

I have heard stories about children, leaders in their schools, going on to Ivy League schools, the proverbial “goodie two shoes” who have had sex with multiple partners in one night (not just two or three partners, but more) the weekend after prom—simply because this was their “first time out partying.” They got so wasted that they simply didn’t know what they were doing.

I’ve heard some parents refer to this as a “rite of passage.” Are you kidding me? Getting wasted for the first time and having sex multiple times is a rite of passage? No, it's disgusting, shameful and just plain wrong. 

No matter how “good” or “smart” he or she is, it could easily be your kid who decides to take “Molly,” a variety of the club drug Ecstasy, for the first time with a couple of beers and is now loving everything and everybody—literally!

No one should accept that it is OK for our children, girls and boys, to have multiple sex partners in a seedy, bedbug-infested hotel with no adult supervision or accountability. This is an atmosphere we allow our children to be exposed to for days at a time. 

Who is watching out for these kids? The parents? The towns? The schools? The hotels? The police? Obviously not.

Apparently the economic benefits of these weekends outweigh the legal violations and predatory activities that present such serious threats to our children.

Parents are just as guilty. We allow our kids to go to a hotel and sleep overnight in unsupervised rooms just because “everyone else is going?” Really? Since when did that become an acceptable excuse to forego our parental responsibilities? What is going on in today’s society that this activity is permitted, indeed encouraged, by multiple levels of authority? How can we as a community allow this to be the norm weekend after weekend, year after year? What is it going to take for this to stop? Does someone have to get gang raped (and overcome the guilt/embarassment and actually report it)? Does someone have to die? 

You may think I’m a crazed, paranoid parent. You may choose to keep your head stuck deep in the sand of the shore where our children are being threatened. But open your eyes. If you believe there is no issue here, you are wrong. 

Ruth Gideon
New Providence