“Why don’t you listen to me?”
Parents and kids alike often share this sentiment. Below are tips for both parties to communicate more effectively and feel confident that the other person cares about what they are saying:
- Teach your child to listen.
- Speak in a quiet tone of voice so your child has to work a little to listen.
- Look directly at your child when you speak, so you can see if they understand what you’re saying and understand the importance of it.
- Practice listening and conversing. Discuss with your family what you see on TV, hear on the radio or see at the park or store. Speak with your kids about their school and friends.
- Respect your child and use a courteous tone of voice. Avoid talking down to your child. If you show your child respect they are likely to follow.
- Praise your child when s/he deserves it. Praise will help build your child’s confidence and reinforce communication. Unkind words can tear down your child, teaching him or her that he or she just isn’t good enough.
- Use conversation starters that excite your child to be part of the conversation. Say things such as “Tell me more,” “No kidding,” or “Really!” to demonstrate your genuine interest.
- Say “I love you.” Your children will never be too old to be told that he or she is loved.
- When your child wants to talk to you, give him or her your undivided attention. Don’t read, watch TV, fall asleep or busy yourself with other tasks. Similarly, when you want to speak with your child, demand the same courtesy by asking that he or she stop whatever else he or she might be doing and listen to you.