It’s Water, Not Pork

I decided to mix local politics and the environment for this blog, and I ended up with brown water.  For many Red Bank residents, that may sound familiar.  A periodic complaint when turning on a faucet or filling a washing machine here goes something like this: “Oh man, gross, my water is brown!.”  That’s because our water infrastructure is old and requires scheduled back-flushing to remove settled sediment. When that flush water is picked up by your household lateral, and you open a faucet, your normally clear water is now a nice shade of brown, anywhere from khaki to raw umber.    

From an environmental perspective, the issue is more of a nuisance than a public health epidemic.  Don’t expect to see Erin Brockovich marching into Borough Hall - and rightfully so. Your water source is tested and has proven safe (disclaimer: you may have lead piping issues in your home to consider downstream of your source connection - but that’s a whole different topic).  If your water supply is visibly turbid from a water main flushing event, run the water until it turns clear again.  Then, look for an equivalent usage credit on your next water bill (note: you should be laughing hysterically at that last one because you’ve got a better chance of seeing a mortar over the Navesink on July 3rd than seeing a brown water credit)   

From a political perspective though, somebody needs to remind our administration that the utility dispenses water, not pork.  For as the owner of the utility, Red Bank has shown an alchemist’s touch by turning dihydroxen monoxide into ham hocks.  By this I refer to the Borough’s practice of redirecting surplus funds from the utility into the general fund, where the fat is spent on unconnected causes.  But, like the ancients that looked to turn lead into gold, the practice was eventually exposed as nothing but deceptive sleight of hand.   

There needs to be a clear nexus between fees collected and the disbursement of those funds.  Gasoline taxes should go to transportation projects, and not to welfare, for example.  Social Security taxes should go to, well, social security.  And so on. How else will we know if we are efficient in any particular sector?  How can we possibly price things accordingly if we just shuffle bank accounts?  In Red Bank’s example, if we keep slurping from the water utility, what happens when we need big water infrastructure improvements to address the brown water - do we go to bond?  So, either direct the water fees into a water utility capital improvement trust fund, reduce rates, or some combination thereof. We shouldn’t be impressed by budget control gimmicks that kick the can down the road by relying on current “surpluses” from over-priced public utility services.

What’s that? I know, I know, I’ve heard it before.  We have a disproportionate amount of regional property tax-exempt nonprofits within our Borough boundaries and charging them high water rates is a means to offset the loss in tax revenue.  But if that’s really the case, the Borough relies on this hidden tax to overcharge the residents and businesses for water too.  Plus, they’re non-profits - how many municipal services do they really require?  No extra school-age children, marginal additional police presence, if any, etc. In reality, by providing valuable community services, many of these nonprofits might be actually lowering government expenditures.  

So, go ahead, open your faucet.  Then, open your wallet.  Then, read the municipal budget. Then tell me, doesn’t that brown water look about the same color as a pork chop?