Springfield Family Moves To Get Away From Bullies

SPRINGFIELD, NJ — The bullying issue may have come to light after 9-year-old Emma Spektor shared her painful story publicly, but now more and more Springfield parents are speaking up and sharing their family stories.

“If I knew I wasn’t the only one, I would’ve spoken up sooner. But I thought it was just me,” Lisa Mury Riley told Patch.

Spektor, a Thelma L. Sandmeier School fourth-grader, has not attended class since September, after her mother refused to return her due to bullying issues. That drew a lot of attention in the community and caused parents to pack the recent board of education meeting, during which they shared similar bullying problems with their children.

Now a Brick in South Jersey resident, Riley drove more than an hour to get to the board meeting Monday night and share her story. Unfortunately, with so many parents speaking, Riley said didn’t have a chance and had to leave at 10:30 p.m. to get back home.

• See Related: Disturbing Accounts Of Rampant Bullying Shared At Packed Meeting

“I was so upset I didn’t speak; I felt like I let my daughters down,” Riley said.

But Riley reached out to Patch to share her story and is also planning on attending, and speaking at, the next meeting with her daughter.

The Riley’s are getting ready to close on their Springfield home, the one she and her husband bought when they got married. It was the home they brought their daughters Madison and Chandler into and the one in which they raised them.

But because of the constant bullying endured by both daughters and other issues, the Riley’s had to uproot their lives and move to their shore home this fall.

“I was so sad about it. I brought my babies home there,” Riley said. “I thought Springfield was a great town to have children. But I was wrong and we aren’t the first ones to move because of bullying in the schools.”

It began in the 2006-07 school year with her oldest daughter, Madison. She was having issues in her classroom at James Caldwell Elementary School. At the end of the year, the district wanted to loop her. But Riley wrote a letter to the principal asking them not to and they granted her request.

“They granted my request not to loop Madison two years in a row, so I am not sure why they didn’t grant the looping request for Emma Spektor,” Riley said.

However, things did not change. Madison was bullied in fourth grade. Riley talked to the teacher and principal and “nothing changed.”

Instead, Riley said the teacher retaliated against her daughter and Madison’s grades and attitude began to decline.

When Madison entered Florence M. Gaudineer Middle School, it only got worse.

“She was harassed and made fun of,” Riley said.

The students would put garbage in her lunchbox every single day. Riley told the principal but nothing was done. After eighth grade, Riley enrolled Madison at Union County Magnet High School to get her away.

But the bullying didn’t end. It started all over again with Riley's younger daughter, Chandler. In first grade at Edward V. Walton Early Childhood Center, she was pushed to the ground for rolling her eyes at another student.

“I told the guidance counselor and she made Chandler feel like she did something wrong because she did roll her eyes at her,” Riley said. “I said, ‘When does rolling your eyes constitute pushing someone to ground?'”

Chandler's situation continued to get worse when she entered Caldwell. In fourth grade she was isolated and ate lunch alone. No one would play with her at recess and if she approached a game the other students would leave and go somewhere else, her mother said.

Riley was running by the school during recess one day and saw tears streaming down Chandler’s face. She was running in place. Her mother asked what was wrong.

“Chandler said, ‘Mommy no one will play with me, and I have to keep moving around just so I can keep warm,” Riley said.

After that Riley told the school she would take Chandler home every day for lunch and recess, if it was necessary. Chandler wound up eating and then sitting in the bleachers alone for recess or in the guidance counselor's office.

Riley said she wrote letters to the school, to the principal, to the teachers — but nothing changed. The principal told Riley the accounts were “hard to believe.” And at one point the principal mentioned that it was Chandler with the issues and not that the bullying were the issues. He also questioned and challenged Chandler's "perception" of the situation.

“Chandler doesn’t have issues, she is being bullied,” Riley said.

In gym class, Chandler had balls thrown at her head every day. Eventually, Riley took Chandler out of school for several days until she felt she was ready to go back.

Riley began looking to send her to a private school for $7,000 a year, but Chandler was able to tough it out through fifth grade. Riley said she wanted to move sooner, but she wanted to let her older daughter finish her senior year of high school.

In fifth grade, Chandler received an anonymous note in her cubby hole stating that she called another student the "B" word — which Chandler never did and told the student that the prior day. Chandler was extremely shaken up finding the anonymous note and came out of school in tears. Chandler brought that note to the teacher and it was never given to the principal, as he had no knowledge of it.

After that, Riley knew Chandler couldn’t attend FMG, where she says bullying is even worse with students using social media and cyber bullying with the school-provided computers.

“There is an endemic meanness in the Springfield School System… something is going on there,” Riley said. “We are not the first ones who have left the district. Many leave after elementary and will not send their kids to the middle school.”

“And the school system does nothing about it,” Riley said.

Riley noted how the school had students sit through a presentation about the difference between bullying and rudeness where students were told, "99 percent of incidents are more likely rudeness."

It wasn’t until the Rileys moved this year that things changed.

“We moved Chandler to Brick Township, where there are 900 plus kids in the school, and Chandler came home the other day and said, ‘Mommy I don’t understand how I could go to school for six years and people could be so mean and I’m only here a few weeks and I am included,'” Riley said.

She is hoping her story will continue to shed light on the bullying issues in the district.

"Although my girls acclimated to new schools, it does not mean this mistreatment has not had lasting affects," Riley said. "Through much talk and support, they realize it is not them. But the affects are lasting and will always be part of their memory of their school years. It is my hope it will only make them stronger, more compassionate human beings."

Related: Springfield 4th Grader Won't Go To School Because Of Bullies, Mom's Plea For New Classroom Rejected

(Image via Derek Mindler via Flickr)

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