Man Who Drove 8 Hours, Threatened Ex 'Was Ready For War,' Prosecutor Says

TOMS RIVER, NJ — A man who drove eight hours from Maine to Ocean County after his ex-girlfriend broke up with him was "ready for war," and intending to kill her family as well, an assistant prosecutor said Friday.

Brian J. Lanzim, 37, has been ordered to remain in the Ocean County Jail pending further court proceedings by Judge Pamela M. Snyder following a detention hearing Friday morning.

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Lanzim has been charged with three counts of attempted murder, home invasion burglary, terroristic threats, two counts of possession of a weapon for an unlawful purpose, two counts of unlawful possession of a weapon, unlawful use of body armor, and 22 counts of possession of large capacity ammunition magazines in an incident on Dover Road on April 29 where Lanzim ultimately was shot by a South Toms River police officer, Ocean County Prosecutor Bradley D. Billhimer said Thursday.

Authorities say Lanzim drove 8 hours from Bangor, Maine, where he has been living since September 2025, to South Toms River after his former girlfriend informed him she was ending the relationship and had received a temporary restraining order against him.

"He was ready for war," Assistant Prosecutor Mara Brater said during the hearing. "He armed himself with two firearms. He armed himself with a bulletproof vest. He had 15 large capacity magazines in his trunk."

"He drove eight hours to the location where he wants to commit these crimes. Those are just the facts of the case," Brater said. She said that witnesses had not alerted authorities and the victims had not left the house and if police had not been waiting for Lanzim when he arrived, "we would be here on a slew of other charges."

Brater said Lanzim's goal "was not simply to hurt the victims, but his children's mother's family so he could obtain full custody of his children."

She said additional charges against Lanzim are anticipated and that if he is convicted, the state intends to seek consecutive sentences that could imprison him for upward of 60 years.

The threats against the woman's family included one Snyder read into the record: "If your father is there I'm going to take him out," and told the woman he would run after her father and "render him pulseless in the driveway."

Marissa Koerner, the public defender representing Lanzim, argued for his release saying Lanzim's actions were the result of a complete mental breakdown in response to the breakup, caused in part by mental health issues including bipolar disorder.

Koerner said Lanzim's statements in the probable cause affidavit demonstrated that he loved his family.

" 'I f-g lost her, man. Tell her and the boys I love them,' and then he was crying," Koerner said, reading from the affidavit. "He loves his family."

She said his actions "almost seemed like a death by suicide by cop," and said he wore the bulletproof vest to "force a kill shot to the head."

Koerner said Lanzim was getting treatment in Maine from a psychiatrist for the bipolar disorder.

Lanzim was shot in the pelvis and hand during the confrontation with police at the South Toms River home, Billhimer said Thursday. The shooting happened after Lanzim arrived and revved the engine of his Toyota 4 Runner and drove at the officers, forcing them to dive behind a fence.

Lanzim then went to the door of the house — which was vacant because the victims had left long before his arrival — and tried to force his way in while armed with a Glock 17, authorities said.

Snyder, in ordering Lanzim be held until trial, called the facts of the case "extremely concerning."

"There are references to the defendant previously displaying a gun and making comments to one of the intended victims, specifically his fiancé, the mother of his minor children" that Snyder called deeply concerning, including: "If I can't have you no one can;" "You don't know crazy yet, welcome to bipolar;" and "If you stand between me and my kids I'm going to do what I need to do," she said.

"These charges are extremely violent in nature," Snyder said. "They began after victim obtained a temporary restraining order. In response he left Maine after loading up with multiple extended magazines, a rifle, a Glock, and body armor and driving about 8 hours to the victim's residence" despitle multiple attempts by Lanzim's friends and family to talk him out of it, Snyder said.

Lanzim, who had been a firefighter 18 years and an emergency medical technician in Ocean County, moved to Maine for a job with Brinks Security, Brater and Koerner said during the hearing, but he lost the job in March, Brater said, and he had been "spiraling out of control" ever since.

"He was aware there was a temporary restraining order in place," Brater said. "He acted in deliberate defiance of it."

"There were individuals begging him not to do this," she said. "This conduct reflects planning and intent, not impulse."

Koerner replied that "the state isn't medical professionals. They're not privy to his mental state at the time. There's no proof of intent. There's no proof that it wasn't a mental health crisis."

Snyder, in ordering Lanzim held, cited not only the severity of the charges, which she called "extremely violent in nature," but noted Lanzim had violated a domestic violence restraining order 18 years ago.

"This is especially acute since these (current) actions were taken after the temporary restraining order obtained by the victim," Snyder said.

She acknowledged the mental health concerns and said they "further indicate a danger to the community in light of the conduct."

Lanzim's next scheduled court appearance is set for May 18, she said.

Read more: Man Shot By Police Drove From Maine, Threatened Ex After Breakup, Authorities, Report Say