Ocean County Urged To Step Up For Victims Of Sexual Assault

LAKEWOOD, NJ — As discussions about sexual assault and domestic violence become more prevalent, trying to get information to those who need it is becoming more important.

How do you know where to go if you need help escaping a violent situation? Who can you call if you know of someone who is being abused physically or sexually? Where can you turn if you have been raped?

Getting the information in the hands of those who need help is one of the things that drives Meghan McAleer, a licensed social worker with the St. Francis Community Counseling Center. Among other services, the center provides counseling and assistance for victims of sexual violence.

Sometimes getting information into the hands of those who need it means going to people where they are, rather than waiting for them to seek it out.

That's how McAleer came to be on the concourse of FirstEnergy Park on Saturday, staffing a table for St. Francis and talking with Ocean County Prosecutor Joseph Coronato at the BlueClaws' stadium. The event was Sexual Assault Awareness Day, and it was a chance to reach women and men alike, not just about sexual violence specifically, but to also make people aware of the resources for those faced with domestic violence. Volunteers with Providence House, a shelter for domestic violence victims, offered materials and an opportunty for those who need help to see there are people waiting to assist.

Most people think of domestic violence as violence against women. And the statistics are staggering: 1 in 4 women in the United States will experience domestic violence in their lifetime, the Providence House website notes, and almost one out of five — 16.3 percent — of murder victims in the U.S. were killed by an intimate partner; women account for two out of three murder victims killed by an intimate partner.

It isn't just women who are at risk of domestic violence from husbands or boyfriends, however, the Providence House representatives said; it can affect same-sex partners, and men can be victimized by women as well. A growing problem is abuse of senior citizens by adult children who have returned home to live, they said. The abuse isn't simply physical; it can take the form of threats and intimidation, it can be economic control, and it can take the form of isolating the person and emotionally abusing them by putting them down, saying they are stupid and more.

Sexual violence can be part of domestic violence as well, which is why St. Francis and Providence House often work hand-in-hand not only with each other but with law enforcement.

And that is how McAleer and Coronato came to be taking in a baseball game while also talking about the reasons for being at the stadium, which was McAleer's idea.

"Donna (Velardi, also with St. Francis) and I were driving by the stadium one day and I said 'Let's do something there,' " McAleer said. The venue "is a really great way to reach Ocean County."

Coronato, who threw out the ceremonial first pitch at the game, said McAleer approached him about holding a sexual assault awareness event, and he never hesitated, seeing it as a way to get information out to the community.

Among that information: letting residents know about a text service used by the prosecutor's office that puts information right at your fingertips on how to contact counseling services, programs to escape a violent situation or law envorcement.

When you text the word "Stepup" to 732-338-0833, it returns a message that reads "To break the silence and access resources on sexual violence, please visit" and includes a link to the Ocean County Prosecutor's Office's webpage. Once there, you can scroll through a host of links, including to emergency rooms, Tina's House, the prosecutor's office's unit for victims of sexual assault, and more. It's accessible for not only someone who has been a victim of sexual violence, but also to those who know someone who they believe needs assistance, Coronato said. (Article continues below.)

"We know that violence is committed by 1 in 10 men," McAleer said, "but that means 9 in 10 men are not" committing sexual violence. Turning the tide on the issue will take not only the efforts of women speaking out, but men speaking up as well, she said.

"We need those 9 in 10 men to step up," McAleer said.

That is what spawned the slogan for the day: Step Up to the Plate Against Sexual Violence."

"I can't give enough accolades to St. Francis Center for everything they do for the citizens of Ocean County," Coronato said, from the Sexual Assault Response Team to a variety of other efforts to help victims and their families.

The appearance at the baseball game also included a message from Tammy Snyder Murphy, the wife of New Jersey Gov. Phil Murphy, who spoke of being a victim of sexual assault at the Women's March in January 2018. New Jersey's first lady initially had been scheduled to appear at the game but a conflict led to Paul Whitehead and Mike Colewell from the prosecutor's office taking a ride out to Trenton to film the message.

It also included a message from the prosecutor's office at the top of the second inning, with information on the services and support offered to victims of sexual violence and domestic violence.

Colewell said the information on the prosecutor's office website is "a living document, and will be updated as resources change or new ones become available."

In the end, the hope was that the efforts at the game would get the message out to those who need help most.

"We just want people to know the resources are there and help is available," Coronato said.

Scoreboard and buttons photos by Karen Wall, Patch staff; other photos and video by Paul Whitehead for the Ocean County Prosecutor's Office