Putting the “Happy” Back in Happy Holidays

While the holiday season may be "the most wonderful time of the year" for most people, it can initiate feelings of heartache, stress and even depression for others. In fact, the National Alliance on Mental Health reports that 64% of people admit to being affected by the holiday blues or temporary feelings of anxiety or depression during the holidays associated with extra stress, busy schedules and strained family relationships. Lina Shihabuddin, MD, Chief Medical Officer of RWJBarnabas Health’s Behavioral Health Network, offers insight on the most common causes of depression around the holidays as well as coping strategies for those facing holiday blues and depression.

Causes of the Holiday Blues

There are a number of factors that can result in feelings of stress, anxiety or depression during the holiday season, but according to Dr. Shihabuddin, facing the “first holiday” without a loved one can be especially difficult.

“One of the hardest parts of the holiday season can be dealing with the loss of a loved one, like a spouse, family member or friend,” said Dr. Shihabuddin. “Whether it’s a death or even a divorce in the family, it can be especially difficult as people deal with isolation and recall memories of the past.”

Another stressor Dr. Shihabuddin identifies is being far from family or your support system. This can be especially true if it’s the first time someone has moved away from their loved ones. Overall, the first holiday season after any change or disruption in normal routine can be tough.

Conversely, not everyone has fond memories of family around the holiday season. There are plenty of people who are faced with the challenge of dealing with strained family relationships.

“This can be one of the most uncomfortable parts of the holiday season for people,” said Dr. Shihabuddin. “People may dread the holiday season for this reason alone. You may be invited to attend a gathering where another family member you don’t get along with may also be.”

Coping with the Holiday Blues and Stress

Dr. Shihabuddin’s advice for dealing with strained family relationship is to put your mental health first.

“What it really comes down to is you need to consider what’s best for you,” added Dr. Shihabuddin. “Talk to the host ahead of time and don’t be afraid to turn down invitations. If you must attend one of these uncomfortable gatherings, try to stay with a group who is supportive of you and who may intervene in a bad situation. And if need be, you can always stay for just a short period of time and leave early.”

For those dealing with the stresses of shopping, travel, holiday events and unrealistic expectations, Dr. Shihabuddin suggest keeping as close to a routine as possible, setting realistic expectations and making sure to take time for yourself.

“Try not to get overwhelmed and try to please everybody,” said Dr. Shihabuddin. “People tend to over-extend themselves. They feel pushed and pulled in a hundred different directions – to go to every party, buy every possible friend a present, get the best possible present. It’s too much pressure. You need to set boundaries.”

In addition to carving out some “me time”, Dr. Shihabuddin recommends:

· Setting a budget – Since overspending can be a huge stressor, set and stick to a budget.

· Planning ahead when shopping – Shop during off-peak hours if possible to make your shopping experience as stress-free as possible. Consider online shopping to avoid long lines and finding a parking spot. And, if you do find yourself caught in mall traffic, take a deep breath and listen to some relaxing music.

· Staying healthy – Eat well, exercise regularly and get enough sleep. Before going to holiday parties, grab a healthy snack so you don’t abandon healthy habits and overeat.

· Be thankful for what you have – No matter what is happening in your life, think of the blessings you do have. Taking a moment to think of the positives can put an end to the “bah humbug” blues.

Seeking Professional Help

Although the holiday blues tend to not be as severe as clinical anxiety or depression and can be temporary, it is vital to be aware of the signs and symptoms and learn how to identify when to see a professional’s help

“You need to be able to recognize the signs in loved ones and the people around you,” said Dr. Shihabuddin.

Signs that you or a loved one may be dealing with increased feelings of anxiety or depression during the holiday season include:

· Fatigue

· Feelings of loneliness or isolation

· Someone being quieter than normal

· Tension

· Overwhelming sense of frustration

· A sense of loss

Dr. Shihabuddin recommends that you encourage your loved ones to seek help before it is a major problem. And if you yourself are feeling overwhelmed, don’t be afraid to seek help.

“A professional will be able to talk you through how to cope with your feelings, how to reduce your anxiety and how to focus on yourself,” said Dr. Shihabuddin. “They will walk you through giving yourself permission to not be perfect and how to set boundaries. A professional will encourage you to treat yourself as best you can, sleeping as best you can, eating better during the holidays. All of these things can help you feel better during stressful times.”

RWJBarnabas Health has behavioral health services in eleven hospitals from Hudson County all the way down to Ocean and Monmouth Counties, including a 100-bed free-standing psychiatric facility in Toms River. With services that range from inpatient psychiatric unit care to intensive outpatient care to partial hospitalization services to private practices in the community, RWJBarnabas Health has a full continuum of services for those seeking any kind of behavioral or mental health services. For an appointment or more information, call 1-800-300-0628.