Toms River Guidance Counselor Facing Bias Intimidation Charge

TOMS RIVER, NJ — A Toms River high school guidance counselor is facing charges of bias intimidation after making racially charged comments and threats against a Toms River man.

Ellen Dering, who is a guidance counselor at Toms River High School South, is accused in a citizen's complaint filed by Ruben Blanco, of Toms River, of making the threats and racial remarks during an argument the two had on Nov. 13 at Dering's Toms River home.

The complaint, signed by the Toms River Police Department, was forwarded to the Ocean County prosecutor's office, but has since been remanded to municipal court, according to Al Della Fave, spokesman for the prosecutor's office. The complaint is to be heard in Beachwood municipal court, according to copies of a court document provided to the Patch. A date for the hearing has not been set.

Two emails to Ellen Dering's Toms River school district requesting comment were not answered.

Blanco told Patch the argument was over his relationship with Dering's daughter, Erin, who was Blanco's fiancee at the time. Blanco and Erin have a baby together, and Blanco told the Patch the argument was prompted by disputes surrounding the baptism of the couple's daughter, Arianna, and ongoing issues between Blanco and Erin.

In a 14-minute audio recording provided to Patch, Ellen Dering can be heard screaming at Blanco, repeatedly making reference to his Spanish heritage, saying "I'm tired of the macho Spanish" and "I didn't marry a macho Spanish man," and "Get rid of your f---- Spanish macho ..."

At one point Ellen Dering tells Blanco that her daughter is "not going to sit in your little Spanish way" waiting at home for Blanco to get home from work.

Further on in the argument, after telling Blanco she planned to have her daughter go to court, Ellen says, "Every gun you pull out I'm going to pull out a bigger one," and "I know every f------ judge and lawyer in town I'll bury you."

In repeated interviews with Patch, Blanco said he filed the complaint against Ellen after he was barred from seeing his infant daughter.

The conflict has been ugly. Toms River police confirmed there have been dueling charges, and a temporary restraining order was filed against Blanco. The order, a copy of which Blanco provided, accuses him of calling his fiancee names, including "whore" "stupid" and "b---."

It also accuses Blanco of showing up at the Derings' home uninvited, though Blanco provided text messages from Ellen in which she tells him he is welcome to come to the house to try to talk to Erin.

The temporary order is specific in that there are no allegations of violence; questions of whether police have been called to a domestic violence incident, whether any domestic violence incidents went unreported, and about whether Blanco has a criminal history all are marked "no."

Blanco has a daughter from a previous relationship, and provided a copy of a letter that Ellen wrote vouching for him when his ex-wife sought full custody of that child, who's 8 years old. In that letter, Ellen praises Blanco's commitment not only to his biological daughter from that relationship but his commitment to that daughter's half-sister.

"For years, the non-biological child was close to Mr. Blanco when she needed a father figure," Ellen wrote in the letter on Toms River school district letterhead. "What other person would do this? In my opinion it speaks volumes about his character," she wrote.

In the audio recording, Ellen shifts back and forth between telling Blanco what he can do to get along with Erin to telling him the family does not want him in Erin's life.

"My daughter doesn't need a man," Ellen says.

Blanco said at this point, Arianna is what matters most.

"All I want is to spend time with my daughter," Blanco said.

What follows is the audio recording. Be forewarned that it is loaded with profanity.

Image via Morguefile