My mom called me a couple weeks ago and asked if I had RSVP’d to my cousin's wedding. Well, no, I hadn’t. I thought I still had a couple weeks to respond and checked the invitation right away…yup, still a couple weeks left to respond. I asked my mom what the problem was and she said that my aunt was getting upset that no one was responding.
So, here’s the etiquette for RSVPs:
When you receive an invitation, it is always polite to respond right away, but you still have until the RSVP date to respond. If the person holding the event wants to know sooner, then push the RSVP date up a bit for planning purposes. Not responding until after the date really isn’t considerate, especially when you are planning a large event. It’s a ton of work on the planner’s part to reach all the people and who has the time?
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This brings me to another part of RSVPs. Look at the invitation carefully to see who specifically it was addressed to. This is your indication of who is invited. If it’s just in your name, than you don’t invite a guest. It’s simply rude! Unless your children are on the invitation, you don’t bring them. Times are tough financially for people, therefore, limiting them to cut back on invitations. Also, sometimes where you have the event can be restrictive too. My husband and I were limited to a certain amount of people for our wedding reception and some people were upset that we didn’t ask people to bring a guest. It’s not that we didn’t want to spend the money, the place simply didn’t hold that many people.
Also, it isn’t appropriate to substitute someone on your invitation. My friend who is planning her wedding sent an invitation to her aunt who subsequently gave the invitation to someone else! Are you kidding?!
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Lastly, if you respond that you are coming, it is totally unacceptable to not show up. The only reasons for not coming would be injury/sickness or death in the family. Also, not coming because you have a better offer is beyond being disrespectful! I would seriously rethink inviting that person to one of my events again.
And don’t forget to say thank you!