Wayne Students Encouraging One Another With Kind Words [Video]

WAYNE, NJ — We hope you’ve noticed over the past year that we’ve been focusing on bullying and cyberbullying, a confounding national crisis that turns youths’ lives upside down with unimaginable angst and dread, sometimes with deadly consequences. With each story, we’ve heard poignant stories from Patch readers in New Jersey and others who were bullied and overcame it, but also many who continue to struggle with the damage done by bullies to their self-esteem.

Many common threads emerged in emails from our readers: Teachers and other educators have suggested everything from first-period decompression time to classroom contracts with students on how they’re expected to treat one another. But for all the readers who said schools need to do more to foster an anti-bullying culture, as many said parents should talk more with their kids about bullying and keep closer track on their social media habits.

And in a loud chorus, they said Americans need to stop wringing their hands and work at all levels to create a world safe from bullying.

That’s one of the purposes of National Bullying Prevention Month, observed annually during October to bring attention to the problem and involve people in Wayne and nationwide in a conversation on how to create a world safe from bullying.

WAYNE STUDENTS CREATING ENCOURAGING MESSAGES

Schuyler-Colfax Middle School students are participating in a third party compliments activity. Using a special form, students and staff have the chance to send positive and uplifting messages to another member of the school community.

Wayne Valley High School students ran the same activity last year. They created a compilation video of students reading messages sent to them.

Elementary school students have entire weeks dedicated to a different theme. This week, students are wearing different clothes as a way of showing others their attitudes against bullying.

For example, on Wednesday kids can wear their favorite sweatshirt or sweatpants to show that "being a nice kid is no sweat." Kids will wear their favorite hats on Thursday for "Hats Off To Kindness" Day.

Young students will also participate in a "Be The Nice Kid" activity and sign their school's No Place For Hate Pledge.

Elementary school counselors will lead classroom discussions about kindness and respect.

The district has a wellness goal this year and Wayne Hills High School wellness theme is mindfulness.

"Our marketing students have created several posters with various anti-bullying and Mindfulness messages on them which will be hung throughout the building," said Superintendent Mark Toback. "Our art students are making anti-bullying art pieces to display throughout the building as well as creating an exhibit of blue flags (anti-bullying color) with bullying statistics outside on the school grounds."

The word "respect" will be hung in high school cafeteria windows large enough for students to write words of encouragement, hope, and acceptance inside each letter.

Students will be given a brief lesson on meditation "in an effort to take care of our own mental well-being in order to be the best version of ourselves," Toback said, and positive, respect-themed music will be played in between classes on Friday.

A PUBLIC HEALTH ISSUE

Once viewed as a childhood “rite of passage” that toughened kids to handle the pressures of adulthood, bullying and its more insidious digital twin, cyberbullying, is seen by many experts as a major public health issue — on par with heart disease, cancer, and diabetes — with devastating and often long-term effects like the loss of self-esteem, heightened anxiety and depression.

We want to hear from you. Do you have a story to tell about bullying or cyberbullying, a suggestion about how to stem it or an event to publicize? Comment at the end of the story, or email daniel.hubbard@patch.com and copy bullies@patch.com. You can post Bullying Prevention Month and many other events right on Patch.

Statistics vary, but an aggregate of 80 different studies on bullying suggests one in five American students between 12 and 18 is bullied at some point during their middle or high school years. Traditional bullying — name calling, public humiliation, isolation, physical violence and that sort of thing — occurs most often, with 35 percent of kids reporting they’ve been targeted in one of those ways. The studies cited by the PACER Center, which established National Bullying Prevention Month, show that 15 percent of kids surveyed report being cyberbullied.

And though it occurs less often, cyberbullying — which has resulted in a disturbing string of suicides by adolescents and teenagers — is especially hard to stop. While experts say most cyberbullied kids don’t kill themselves, the long-tailed internet makes a taunt live longer than one flung on the schoolyard. Kids can escape traditional bullying in the safety of their homes, but because social media is so intertwined with how kids communicate, they never really escape it.

READ: Bullied To Death: When Kids Kill With Words

And because cyberbullies have the stealth of anonymity, “empathy tends to fade to zero,” NoBully.org founder Nicholas Carlisle told Patch.

He was knocked around 40 or so years ago as an awkward 12-year-old. The torment persisted through high school, but as tough as it was, his experience was markedly different from the torture kids endure today, he says — and it’s not just that he was attacked in a physical as opposed to online space.

“Online, you can’t see the whites of their eyes,” Carlisle said. “If you can see someone, that’s often a break upon people’s aggression — not always, but it does seem to have some break upon crossing the line.”

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The full consequences of bullying on the brain aren’t fully understood, but kids who are targeted by bullies in childhood and adolescence are at increased risk for psychological problems that can stretch into adulthood, according to experts. In the moment, bullied kids may be unable to sleep or suffer a range of stomach issues and headaches. Later on, they’re at risk for depression, anxiety, and alcohol and drug use.

Among the marquee National Bullying Prevention Month activities is Unity Day, observed on Wednesday, Oct. 24, when everyone is encouraged to wear and show orange to send a message that no child should ever experience bullying.

“Orange provides a powerful, visually compelling expression of solidarity,” Paula Goldberg, the executive director of the PACER Center, said in a statement. “Whether it’s hundreds of individuals at a school wearing orange, store owners offering orange products or a community changing a landmark to orange, the vibrant statement becomes a conversation starter, sending the supportive, universal message that bullying is never acceptable behavior.”

Here’s more about Unity Day:

THE BULLY MENACE: WHAT’S AHEAD

During October and beyond, several experts have agreed to answer readers’ questions about bullying, ranging from how to keep their kids from becoming targets to what to do if their kids are the bullies. We’ll also delve into some of the issues surrounding bullying —

Take a look back at some of the stories in our series:

• America’s Shameful Truth About School Shooters And Bullying
• They All Failed Changed Child: Malden Bullying Detailed
• Bullies, Their Targets The Same In A Surprising Number Of Cases
• ‘Everyday, I Wear Your Words,’ Teen Tells Bullies In Video
• Teen’s ‘I Wear Your Words’ Video Inspires Nashville Songwriters
• Bullying Of Mallory Grossman, 12, Spelled Out In Wrongful Death Lawsuit
• Poetry Teacher Helps Bullied Kids Open Their Tortured Minds
• Why These Kindergartners Start Each Day With A Simple Handshake

If you have a question or want to share your story, please email bullies@patch.com.

Email: daniel.hubbard@patch.com

Photo: YouTube screenshot of a student reading an encouraging message sent to her last academic year at Wayne Valley High School.