Better Wings Than These Exist on Both Sides of the Planet

Before I took off for South Korea, I was certain there would be a slew of western elements I would miss.  While looking forward to diving into Korean culture and cuisine, I was concerned about the absence of certain food. To some degree, this concern became a reality. It was difficult, to say the least, to find respectable sub sandwiches. It was even harder to find bagels, which the local Dunkin Donuts, despite their advertisements, rarely if ever had. Philly cheese steaks, while available, were almost as offensive as the sweet potato pizzas. Mexican food was beyond inedible. It brings back painful memories to mention how skimpy “Latin themed” bars were on their nacho toppings. Given how they tasted, though, this was not necessarily such a bad thing.

In regards to fast food, one of the few things Korea could do just as well if not better was chicken. Never in my life had I seen so many different fried chicken chains, all of which served various sandwiches, wings, and fries. The stream of commercials usually featured glamorous pop singers who looked too fit to have consumed these ever so tempting products. From Kyochon to Mom’s Touch-low prices, late delivery hours and attractive girls singing about this great tasting chicken made it hard to turn away. The presence of such competition was a pleasant surprise for my wallet and taste buds, but the opposite for my cholesterol level.  Most people lose weight after moving to Korea, for they give up much of the fatty food I just mentioned. Fried chicken, however, is certainly an exception. Americans’ intake if anything increases after moving there.

I am not claiming to be any form of fast food chicken connoisseur. Such a thing is hardly boast-worthy. Nonetheless, having both enjoyed and abhorred wings in opposite global hemispheres, I would like to think that I can tell the difference between good chicken and bad-delectable juicy flesh and cardboard; crispy goodness and glass. This being said, after experimenting two times too many, I can safely say that Planet Wings of West Orange is mediocre at best.

While they do boast a wide variety of sauces, none of the three flavors I tried were appetizing enough to redeem the dryness that came with every bite. An excess of cartilage and uneven ratio of bones to meat left a less than desirable texture to chew through. As far as side dishes go, the curly fries were utterly tasteless, and I could have found better nachos in Korea than these soggy pieces of paper dipped in cheese sauce.

Upon my return to West Orange I was certainly thrilled about the existence of a new wings place in town.  It is always a pleasure to see new eateries blossom in the South Valley strip center- an area which could have so easily disintegrated rather than revived after the 2001 fire.  But truth be told, Planet Wings is nothing to be remotely excited about.

If the branches in Garfield and South Parlan are anything like this one, spare yourself such fried indecency. From Church’s Kitchen in Union to Cluck-U on South Orange Ave., much better chicken establishments await your phone call.