Rotary, The Four Way Test and A Mother's Love

When I joined Rotary in 1998, one of the first things I learned, even before the silly song we sing each week, was the Four Way Test.

The Four Way Test was written in 1932 by Herbert J. Taylor, a Chicago Rotarian and businessman.  His company was in trouble and he wanted to create a set of guidelines for his employees to follow, both in business and personally to improve their attitudes, the overall company atmosphere and their lives overall.  When he became President of Rotary International in 1942, The Four Way Test was adopted by Rotary International as it's motto.

And this is how it goes.....

1.  Is it the truth?

2.  Is it fair to all concerned?

3.  Will it build good will and better friendships?

4.  Will it be beneficial to all concerned?

I bet Mr. Tayor had a mother like mine, a good one.  When I first heard the Four Way Test, I felt as if I had heard it before, somewhere way back in my childhood memory.  It sounded familiar but I didn't realize how familiar until only recently.

Anyone who has had a good mother learned these lessons early. 

 "Is it the truth?"

As children, we really learn to lie from our parents.  We are not born liars.  Whether directly or indirectly, they teach us how to lie or how not to lie.  I don't ever remember my mother lying to me, she may have omitted things here and there for my own benefit, but by example I learned that the truth was a lot easier in the long run.  I didn't want to disappoint her, she deserved for me to be honest with her and with others.

"Is it fair to all concerned?"

At 5, fairness is important, especially when you are the youngest of 3 and are the only girl.  You want your fair share.  My mother treated us all equally as best she could.  Back then, I thought I got the short stick, wearing my older brothers hand me downs to school with sleeves too long and pants rolled up.  But, she doled out so much love, that there was always plenty to go around for all of us, plus extra.  Later in life, I realized that fairness wasn't just about me, it was about others and how your actions affect them.

"Will it build good will and better friendships?"

To me, Mom was a great mother.  But, she was also a great daughter, wife and friend.  By example, she tought me how to be a good friend.  Knowing how to play nicely in the sandbox goes a long way in life.  Being a good friend and bringing good will not only benefits others that you meet along life's journey, but it also brings you a wealth of happiness and success.

"Will it be beneficial to all concerned?"

At first I didn't see how number 4 could be possible.  I always thought that if someone wins, somebody else has to to lose.  Life isn't always fair and you need to be prepared to deal with failure.  This part of the Four Way Test doesn't mean everything is beneficial to all at all times.  But, you can choose to be honest and fair and to play nice, and if we all do our best, how can it not be beneficial to all. One of the most important things we need to learn from our parents, especially our mothers, is empathy.  Without empathy, we cannot concern ourselves with the well being of others.  Through our mother's unconditional love for us as well as showing us how to love others, we are able to concern ourselves with the lives of those less fortunate than ourselves. 

At Christmas-time, my mother would always give me a dollar to put into the Salvation Army red hanging pot.  A dollar was a lot of money for us back then. She fed a family of five on $20 a week.   Giving became part of our routine for the next 50 years.   To this day, I can't pass by a collection without donating something. 

Back in 1998, Rotary found me, and I found myself all over again.  All of life's lessons my mother taught me so many years ago come rushing back when I stand side by side with my brothers and sisters in Rotary, sing our corny Rotary song and repeat the Four Way Test. 

To all the good mothers in the world, The Rotary Club of West Orange wishes them a happy and peaceful Mother's Day and thanks them for their service to mankind and to Rotary.  For without them, as well as good fathers, there would be no Rotary, no charity and no hope.

And to all those great mothers that have passed, including my own dear mom, we grieve your loss deeply but you have given us the strength and the tools to carry on in your memory.   

Happy Mother's Day