The Elimination of Cultural Austerity Brings a Blessing Few Can Fathom

     Back in the summers of 2005 and 2006, I raked in my college spending money by serving people who, for obvious reasons, chose to have their weddings in our great city of West Orange. Working as a waiter for the Manor, Highlawn Pavilion, and Pleasantdale Chateau, I witnessed what is supposed to be the happiest day of one’s life over 100 times. While the majority of these events were magical, there were, of course, a few horrific ones as well. There was a time when we had to provide the soon to be groom with a tranquilizer to keep him from bailing. There was a time when a brawl broke out between a rather strapping young man and his seventy five year old father in law. Aside from the few and far between mishaps, though, I witnessed the confirmation of love in its purest form, more times than most ever will. Between the blood, sweat and tears I put into these sixteen hour shifts, I always found myself smiling at the new fortunes these couples had just gained.

     The Manor, Highlawn Pavilion, and Pleasantdale Chateau are all owned by the Knowles family, which is why I was sent to work at any of the three, depending on how big of a staff they needed each day. It was a pleasure to work for them, and I will always look back on those summer days with fond memories. Hard work is good for the soul, especially when it leads to the elation of a married couple’s heart, friends and family. Aside from the rewards achieved through this line of work, the environment was quite pleasant as well. The presence of an extremely diverse staff made this one of the best experiences in my twenty four year existence. I worked with people from Mexico. I worked with people from Russia. I worked with people from the Dominican Republic. I worked with people from Serbia, Egypt, Costa Rica and Romania. Of all ages and from different backgrounds, we worked together, through language barrier and fatigue, to please our customers and ensure that they had an exceptional night that they would look back on with positive thoughts.

      Among my two cousins and older brother, I had only attended three weddings. My time at this job, however, was prior to my brother’s 2010 wedding. While my time as a waiter was rewarding, I could never help but feel envious, wishing I had been a part of the wedding as a friend or relative rather than an employee. Thoughts like these do cross one’s mind in the midst of folding napkins or carrying trays of coffee and hoping through some higher power not to trip and spill a lawsuit onto the nearest guest. Just last month, however, I got to enjoy being on the other side of the matrimony and the world; I attended my first ever Korean wedding.

           The marriage of my two friends, one Welch and the other Korean, was a festive day for many reasons. Twenty performing arts students sang a beautiful Korean rendition of RENT. The perfect weather allowed the sun to shine on Seoul’s nearby Namsan Tower. Much like the staff at my earlier jobs in West Orange, there were individuals present from all over the world. There were people from Korea. There were people from Wales. There were people from the UK. There were people from South Africa, America, Australia and the Phillippines. This diverse conglomeration of guests absorbed the presence of an Eastern and Western wedding culture. Speeches and vows were conducted in both English and Korean.

     From gravy smothered meat loaf to kimchi infused squid sauce, guests enjoyed culinary delights from both global hemispheres. Illuminated by the gorgeous Namsan skyline and star engrossed sky, the outdoor after party was a giant success; people mingled and gyrated to Western and Korean classics alike. These elements of the wedding, however, merely scratch the surface of why this occasion was so magnificent. For all guests present, the unification of Chris Gibson and Chung Mok-hwa was living proof that the definition of love is beyond universal.

     Being the product of a Jewish father and a Catholic mother, I realize the bold steps that were taken to cross cultural barriers, for they met in an America that was forty years younger. It is a beautiful thing when romance can overcome trivial matters such as race, social status, politics, or tradition. It is not uncommon for Koreans to keep their foreign significant others secret from their families. The reason for this is that in some situations, straying away from cultural identity, even in a time when one’s attraction is legitimate, can lead to domestic ostracism. The stigma in this country, nonetheless, is diminishing drastically. Roughly ten percent of marriages in Korea are between a native and a foreigner, a number that, two decades ago, was just one percent.

     An open mind is equally as important as an open heart, for one cannot properly operate without both. Let us hope that the recent statistics point to an increase in the existence of both. The conclusion of Mr. and Mrs. Gibson’s wedding certainly proved the need for this, and I would be shocked if anyone who was in the audience would disagree. Two people will now be content for the rest of their lives, for they did not allow their differences to get in the way of their happiness. Two families who were once distant strangers in far away lands are now incredibly close and united as one. These are the advantages of eliminating irrational, simple minded xenophobia, and as the numbers of mixed marriages increase, so should the level of cross cultural tolerance.