5 Minutes With Cancer Survivor Mary Maddox

Patch recently spoke to Bellmore resident and cancer survivor Mary Maddox.

Mary, who works as a dental hygienist, was diagnosed with parotid gland cancer (a salivary gland/facial tumor) last fall.

For several weeks after the holidays, she took time off work to travel back and forth from her home in Bellmore to the ProCure Proton Therapy Center in Somerset, New Jersey as she underwent proton therapy until eventually she became too weak and had to get rides from friends and family.

During that time fighting the cancer, she relied on her loved ones and never failed to have a positive attitude. Now, she's back at work and cancer-free.

Patch spoke to Mary about her experience.

PATCH: What or who was your biggest inspiration throughout the treatment process to help you make it through?

MARY: I thought a lot about my best friend Michelle who passed away from cancer about 3 years ago after living with it for about 10 years. I knew she was nervous about it, but I didn't understand the fear until it was in my own body. So whenever I was scared or frustrated with the traffic, I just thought; "Michelle did it for 10 years and she did it with a smile on her face while taking care of everyone else, even at her sickest. If she could be that brave then I can be a little brave." My family and friends who drove me and visited me especially my daughter and husband who got the worse of it also inspired me. Also, my mother in law and my dad have both struggled through multiple bouts of cancer and handled it with courage and minimal complaints. I wasn't nearly as brave as them or my friend Michelle.

PATCH: What did you learn from the whole process?

MARY: You have to have a sense of humor. My silly personality really came in handy. I told you about the laughing and dancing in the treatment room but I also tried to make jokes about the "Cancer Card" when I wanted something or wanted to boss people around.I made jokes about doing anything to get out of work, I used the treatment mask to pop out and scare people. Pretty much anything for a laugh. Not only did it help me but my 16-year-old said the other day that we laughed so much that she never stopped to realize the seriousness of the situation, which was kind of my objective. I learned that you have to look for beauty and peace wherever you find it. Who knew The Belt Parkway was so beautiful? Instead of concentrating on the traffic all the time I tried to appreciate the view. Instead of being upset about going to Jersey everyday I tried to concentrate on enjoying the time I got to spend with my cousin Mike and his family. I tried to enjoy the time at home. When I wasn't too tired I spent time with my parents my dogs, and my chickens. I walked the boardwalk at Jones Beach, I quilted I and cooked. I learned to make sourdough bread. I was never bored. I learned that some people are going to blow you away with their help and really make you feel loved and some people are going to let you down. At the end of the day, either way, you're kind of on your own. I've never had to spend so much time alone before or face something so scary and no one could make it go away. I missed my friend Michelle quite badly during this period because she would have understood how I felt better than anyone and I also wanted to be able to apologize to her for not understanding what she had gone through. I spent a lot of time thinking and praying and realized that I was much stronger than I thought. And I realized that I was lucky to have so many people who cared about me.

PATCH: What advice would you give to someone going through something similar?

MARY: That they should just hang in there and pray. Don't be afraid to talk to other people who have been through the same thing. You just have to keep laughing and salsa dancing!

Photos courtesy of Mary

Photos 1 & 2: Mary, her husband Jim and her 16-year-old daughter Erin

Photo 3: Mary's mom, Frances Maddox and Erin

Photo 4: Mary's childhood friend Dawn Lucchi, one of her drivers

Photo 5: Her sister-in-law Annette Maddox, another driver

Photo 6: Friends Matrona Kotsouras, June Smith and Christine Laubis drivers

Photo 7: Her cousins Mike, Pam, Owen and Shannon Christensen whom she stayed with in New Jersey

Photo 8: Scarlett

Photo 9: Mary's dad, Thomas Maddox and her best friend Michelle D'Errico who passed away from breast cancer in 2013