Oh I Felt So Proud!

I finally had a chance to watch Part I of The Italian Americans of New York and New Jersey, the new PBS documentary series that aired this past week. There was plenty of footage of my church, Sacred Hearts of Jesus & Mary/St. Stephen and my neighborhood, Carroll Gardens. And although I didn’t see any pictures of my own family, I felt I could relate to every single picture shown and pretty much every story told because those being interviewed were telling the story of my family, too. The two-part series, narrated by Maria Bartiromo, highlights the struggles of Italian immigrants who settled in the New York and New Jersey area, why they came here, what they faced when they got here and how they built new lives for themselves, all while preserving their sense of family and tradition.

When Bishop Frank Caggiano, formerly of Brooklyn and now the Bishop of the Diocese of Bridgeport, CT, told how his father would work a whole day on the docks, come home, wash up, eat dinner and then go back and work the whole night, I thought of my own dad who often worked around the clock. My dad would wear multiple layers of thermal clothing to combat the frigid elements of the waterfront and when he got home after pulling an all-nighter, he often came with a box of College Bakery buns for us to have for breakfast. He earned enough for all of us to go to parochial school, which was very important to him, and we always had plenty of food on the table, exceptionally great food at that!

When John Heyer, Jr., recounted how he lived in the same building as his uncle and that his grandparents and great aunt lived next door, I remembered how my grandparents lived around the corner and next door to them lived my great, great Aunt Lucy, Uncle Tony and Cousin Jenny. Aunt Mary and Uncle Nicky were around the other corner and Aunt Angie was up the block. There were relatives all around us!

When a number of interviewees including Mayor Bill DiBlasio, former Senator Alphonse D’Amato and former Governor Mario Cuomo illustrated how the mother was the center of the family, it reminded me of my little Grandma Chickie who worked so hard, despite being a young widow and not being in robust health, and saved enough money to buy a little bungalow in the Catskills. That bungalow is still in our family and I am still grateful for my grandmother’s hard work. I remembered how she would take the crosstown bus from Red Hook, stop at Ferdinando’s Foccaceria and lug a big brown paper shopping bag full of panelle specials, rice balls and potato croquettes up three flights of stairs to our top floor apartment.

While most of my family settled in South Brooklyn, two of my grandfather’s siblings ventured out to Paterson, NJ. Visiting them was always an adventure because to us Brooklyn kids, going to Paterson was like going to the suburbs. When Dr. Teresa Fiore of Montclair State University described the silk dyeing factories in Paterson, NJ, my great Uncle Andrew came to mind. As he he held his glass of red wine or a cigarette, I always noticed that his fingernails were stained because of the dye he worked with in one of those Paterson factories. Uncle Andrew was such a sweet, funny man who spoke with a thick accent and his favorite phrase was “God Bless America.” Those are the very words inscribed on his headstone in Holy Sepulchre Cemetery in Totowa, NJ.

Pat La Freida, Jr. of Pat La Frieda, Meat Purveyors, went to college as his father wished and still decided to stick with the family business. He used his education to significantly improve the business. Pat said “I’m proud to say that what I do is blue collar work,” and I thought good for him; he should be proud! The idea of “lavoro ben fatto” which translates to “work well done” was touched on. This can run the gamut from the work of an Italian artisan or butcher or seamstress and can also include a perfectly turned out dish of pasta made by an Italian mamma. You should be proud of whatever you do as long as it is respectable and you do it well.

Our stories are all so similar and our memories so bittersweet. As my friend, Vito Gentile, said it seemed the key to the show was how much Italians love their families. I had a good cry after I watched and I found myself missing my loved ones and the way things used to be. I thought of the sacrifices that my relatives made to provide us with a good life in a new land. They were brave, hardworking and selfless and I will always think of them with eternal love, gratitude and Italian-American pride.

The Italian Americans of New York and New Jersey, Part 2 airs on WLIW on Sunday, February 22 at 9:00 pm and on PBS on Tuesday, February 24 at 8:00 pm. Part 2 will feature footage of the the processions of SHSS Church. Visit http://www.thirteen.org/italian-americans-ny-nj/ for more information and to view stories and pictures posted by Italian Americans with roots in the New York/New Jersey area.