Have Some Children Developed a Trick or Treat Inferiority Complex?

In the wake of the “Occupy Starbucks Movement” and “Boston Cream Parties” and many similar Yuppy inspired Woodstock like sit-ins, cop-outs and hang ons, some of our youth have taken to unlawful PDFs (Public Displays of Frustration) .

A group of East Meadow third-graders have been non-formally charged with pseudo-terrorist activities for planning a covert toilet-papering attack on an unnamed Elementary School in a Halloween plan that was foiled by the East Meadow Citizens Patrol Task Force.

"Bring 'em in Unharmed, Unarmed but Alive!" said a lookalike of a CEMCO Board member, who reportedly took refuge at 7-Eleven while the alleged juvenile rapscallions rallied around the West Wing of the complex with rolls of extra-plush Charmin and Northern at 7:55 am on Oct. 31. But it was members of the East Meadow Citizens Patrol Task Force acting as Border Patrol observers, who’s interest was piqued and peaked as they peeked about, saw what they saw and alerted the proper personnel about the potential pint-sized prepubescent perpetrators practical plans.

Members of the Umpha Lumpa like terror cell, whose ringleader was said to be wearing a frighteningly realistic Sponge Bob mask, was caught holding a roll of TP and heard murmuring, “My Precious! My Precious!” on a undercover surveillance audio recording.

The culprit cadre are also being charged with third degree illegal use of a personal hygiene product for having written plans illustrating the smearing of several first floor school administrators windows with shaving cream. Also charged with second degree felony trick-or-treating  by a tenth degree martial arts instructor, for taking all the unwrapped candy from nearby homeowners Jug, plus sixteen counts of advanced noise pollution for ringing loud doorbells prior to the attempted alleged attack were: Luigi from the Mario Bros, the Geico gecko and a four-foot tall Freddy Krueger.

Members of CERT, PAL, NASA, FEMA, AAA  and the ASPCA were aghast when they learned of this information and the fact that Henry Winkler was recently involved in a Fonzie scheme. The school children were reportedly upset that the fitness-conscious Assistant Superintendent gave out apples and raisins instead of Snickers and Milk Duds. The hoodlums were required to submit to Airport style detection and inspection of their candy bags on the prior Friday before Recess. The school nurse informed officials that she had to administer Smartees to students that had ingested Dumdum lollipops that day to neutralize the effects.

The children were eventually apprehended by teachers dressed as Rambo, G.I. Joe, BA Baracus (Mr T) of the A-team and others that appeared as cast members of online fantasy gaming groups from Halo and Call of Duty.

Unreliable sources said that as punishment, the teeny weeny enemy combatants will bob for apples while strapped to a Styrofoam waterboard and spend 165 days going for extra ELA help. Remember eternal vigilance is the price of liberty and  the price of laughter is free.