The Men of the Round Table

My dad sat alone at the "head of the table." That was the spot known as "daddy's chair." When our friends came over for lunch or even for a cookie and milk snack, they were not allowed to sit on daddy's chair. I remember my mom telling us that if daddy came home, the spot had to be vacant..after all, it WAS his chair. I often looked at daddy's chair and wondered where he had carved his name. I mean, who knew for sure that it was HIS chair? It was later explained to me that it was not the chair, rather the placement of the chair at the head of the table. That spot was furthest away from the refrigerator and sink. I never understood it's importance, really. But I knew that my father was important. He was our protector and our bread-winner. (A term, many young readers may have never heard before!) I also knew that we could not be excused from the table after we had eaten dinner. I would watch The Brady Bunch and Cindy would ask, "May I be excused?" and both Mr. and Mrs. Brady, would smile and say, "Yes." This wasn't real life, I was told. (This, too, I questioned!) You will sit until your father is done eating. Now, daddy would not use the words, "I'm done eating..go do whatever it is you wanted to do..." Instead it was a signal, he used. When done eating one of my mom's delectable meals, he would push his chair away from the table, and place his fingers in his shirt pocket, where he would pull out his red Marlboro box. As he was getting his cigarette out of the small box, my sister would get up and get him and ashtray. That was the signal..and because dad would sometimes have second helpings, the wait was arduous for a 10 year old! I would help mom clear the table, along with my sister and the evening activities unfolded. Now, back to the idea of where everyone sat...I did not realize till much later that dad was wearing the invisible title of "Patrone." I knew he was the "boss of me" but wasn't every father, in every family..the boss? (Calm down...it was the 60's and things were different!) It was a special spot..his elbows did not touch anyone else's. He was served first. We would not eat dinner until he got home. (If we were really hungry, mom would tell us to drink a glass of water!) Dad was important! His salary paid the mortgage and put me through school. Things that could not been done otherwise, on mom's seamstress salary. Mom respected him and so did his daughters. Why not give him the best seat at the kitchen table?! Fast forward to married life in East Meadow. Mom: "You bought a ROUND table? What were you thinking?!" Me: "What? What are you talking about? It has a leaf if I need to open it! What's wrong with it? I liked it, so we bought it." Mom: "And where will your husband sit?" I looked at her strangely, truly, not understanding this absurd question. Me: He can sit where ever he likes. The table has 6 chairs! Mom: "But it's round!!!!!" I make a toast to all the men of 2013, who sit at round tables! You know you are loved and respected! and it's OK to sit closest to the appliances! So, if we need to get into the fridge, we'll ask you to move your chair..no big deal :) Peace.