Airports? What airports?

I am a resident of Queens county. Within the county that I currently reside, there are two international airports. However, there is no easy way to get to either of them without a car. Since I travel frequently for work, I often have to make tough decisions about how I'm going to get to one of these two airports.

Ultimately, I almost always decide to take a car service (trying to hail a cab on the street in Queens is a futile endeavor, especially if you are trying to catch a plane). From where I live, it is always between $30 and $40 (even though I'm close enough to LaGuardia I could practically walk there). My point is that there isn't any good viable public transportation options to get to the airports. Taking the M60 is a stressful way to get to LaGuardia since the bus schedules are as about as reliable as Time Warner Cable's service.

Aside from walking to the airport, there is no other way to get to LaGuardia. At least one can theoretically take a train to JFK. However, from just about anywhere in New York City, you can expect to ride for at least an hour, even though you are closer to that airport geographically than you are to your nearest supermarket. From the Astoria area in Queens, one must take the NQ to the 7, to the E, to the air train, to the terminal.

This process consumes the better part of a fortnight and costs almost around $8. Although the AirTrain is a terrific idea, connecting it to the most remote subway stops in the entire MTA system was a mistake. My solution to the problem is simple and would only cost $20 trillion. Extend the M train from the Middle Village Metropolitan ave stop to connect through Jackson Heights (providing a much needed connection from Queens to Brooklyn).

Then, create an S train from the Ditmars stop on the NQ that heads east to LaGuardia where there is one stop, then turns right and heads south to Jackson Heights. Then run it along the new M track, stoping at Middle Village, then heading east stopping only at Sutphin blvd. To raise money for this endeavor, sell the AirTrain station and extra track that is currently connected to Howard Beach on the A train.

I'm sure someone will want to buy it, imagine all you could do with a stationary train station and track that isn't connected to anything! No one uses that station anyway. Taking the A train to the AirTrain requires impossible amounts of patience, since you have to wait for the 'correct' kind of A train. One kind goes to Lefferts Blvd, one goes to Far Rockaway, and one goes to Rockaway park beach.

This is the only train in the system that has 4 different terminals. Investing in my plan would make traveling to the airports less expensive for all New Yorkers, increase revenue for all businesses since people would suddenly be able to get to Brooklyn from Queens without taking the horrid G train or going through Manhattan, and restore some modicum of faith that the MTA is indeed interested in providing a train service for New York City. Lets get this incredibly realistic plan in place so that I don't have to keep expensing pricey cab rides to and from the airports to my company.

-Aaron Edell
hilarioustravel.blogspot.com